Flash Fiction Lesson Next Week!!!!

I get to teach a lesson on flash fiction in creative writing next week. Ballin'!!!!  I'm pumped, should be excellent.  I'm excited to share my work, but at the same time I don't want to model too much or they'll just copy what I've given them.  I'm pumped for this.  Now I just need to find some legit literature no it so I can make it look all professional.  Shouldn't be too difficult.  I'm so ahead on schoolwork right now which is really good being that Saturday is my bday and who should have to do work on their birthday. 

I've recently gotten hooked onto the show Shameless on Showtime.  It's really good; a buddy of mine recommended it a while back and I've recently gotten the chance to check it out.  I don't know if it's for everyone but I find it highly entertaining.  The general premise of the show involves a poor family of six children attempting to survive despite the fact that their degenerate, alcoholic father squanders away all of his government allocated money and disability payments on booze.  The oldest sister Fiona (Emmy Rossum) is the female lead and for all intensive purposes, the matriarch of the Gallagher family.  Fiona's other siblings attempt to contribute with whatever odd jobs they can but getting by on a daily basis provides a constant struggle for this unconventional and certainly dysfunctional family.  I could see somebody who grew up in poverty or in a household with an abusive alcoholic not taking kindly to this show but I personally find it highly entertaining.  As usual I've also developed a slight crush on the female lead, as I do with most shows and movies that I enjoy (and sometimes even those that I don't enjoy i.e Rosie Huntington-Whitley in Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon).  I'm excited just thinking about when I can get home and watch the next episode. 

I subscribed to livingsocial.com and I've been very happy with the results so far.  If you haven't subscribed and you are a fan of saving money then I highly recommend you do so.  It's free and provides great deals for quality services such as restaurant outings, yoga classes, bike tune-ups and more.  I'm pretty sure that I'm going to purchase a deal for five yoga classes at $25 for a yoga studio on main street in Manayunk.  Most classes range from $10-15 per class so that's saving at least 50%.  I'm excited to give it a shot.  A good friend of mine recommended livingsocial months ago and I finally developed the motivation to click twice and register.  I hope that you find your motivation quicker than I did because this site is free and offers tons of great deals. 

Bahh two more hours until my scheduled meeting with my adviser here at the B&N in Exton.  Let me tell you, this is one of the nicest bookstores I've been to in a while.  It's so clean and organized.  Borders Wynnewood I miss you dearly but this store puts ours to shame.  It's so clean and crisp; even the cafe is way nicer.  All the book and magazine sections are so neat and clean.  Too bad this place is so far away from home otherwise I would totally come here more often.  This may have to be may far away escape.  Hopefully if I get a job around here I can move into an apartment and then be closer just to this store.  Hahaha wow that's pathetic, oh well what can I say I'm now totally dependent on having a huge bookstore close by.  I've become addicted to the luxury and now that I don't have it I'm going through withdrawal.  And as I'm writing this post I see one of my old regulars from the Cafe.  How serendipitous.  Love book stores.  I'm convinced that I'll meet my future wife either in a bookstore or dancing at a bar/club (I credit Sam with that theory).  I have a yearning to write creatively.  Do I want to write another scene from a play or should I go for something else?

My favorite Chili Pepper song, Under the Bridge,  just started playing on Pandora.  It's raining and windy but otherwise a glorious day.  It's all about positivity.  Ever since I had a solid pep talk from a couple of people last week I've woken up saying "Today will be a great day," every single day.  That shit works people, no joke.  I'm about to make myself a wooden plaque and put it above my bedroom door so that I can see it every morning when I wake up.   

Maybe I will write another scene...

     Josh, 17,  borrowed his parents car on a Friday night.  His parents told him to be home, but he knew that meant 5 am because they'd be in bed and asleep by 10 pm.  Josh knew it would be a wild night for him and his friends.  There was a huge party downtown and then a rave in one of the old barns near Josh's house.  They guys hit the party downtown first, trying to find some girls who may want to go to the rave after.  Josh drinks and smokes some unknown things.  The last thing he remembers is driving to the Rave.  He wakes up alone and in the driver's seat of his car at 4 am.  He's somewhere in between the rave and his house.  Josh decides to run home before his parents wake up. 

      Josh creeps into the house while his older brother Toby is in the kitchen with his girlfriend Piper.

Toby: Mornin' little brother.  Fun night?


Josh: Um...yeah sure.  Mom and Dad up yet?

Toby: No way man, it's Saturday.  They won't be up 'til like 7 or 8.  What are you worried about, getting caught?

Piper: Relax Joshy, Tobes and me have been sneakin' out late since we were 16.  You're fine.

Josh: Yeah, I guess so.  I'm gonna go crash, I'll see you guys later.

Toby: Yo bro, hang on.  Piper and I were gonna go grab some breakfast.  You wanna come with?

Josh: Nah man, I'm good.  Just tryin' to get some sleep.  I'm wiped out you know?

      Josh turns to go upstairs to bed.

Toby: Cool man.  Josh! Aren't you forgetting something?

Josh: Huh?

Toby: Keys bro.  Don't hold out on me.  You got the car all night.  How did you think we were gonna get there anyway? By walking? Dude diner's like five miles away.

Josh: Yeah...um....problem is there's almost no gas in it.  You'll have to fill up. 

Toby: That's fine, I just got paid.  Keys?!

Josh: Shit bro, I can't I mean I can but, shit.

Piper: You alright Joshy? What's goin on? You in some kind of trouble?

Josh: Tobes I didn't mean to be an idiot, I swear-

Toby: STOP!  Toby runs outside to look at the car and then runs back in.  What the hell did you do with the car?

Josh: Dude, don't be mad.  I crashed it on the way back from the rave.  It's in the woods between Sherlock and Mayview Rd.  I'll tell mom and dad. 

Toby: You idiot.  Why'd you crash? Were you wasted?  Why would you drive wasted? I don't even do that right Pipes?

Piper: Josh this may be the wrong time but was anyone else in the car?

Josh: I don't think so, I mean it was dark but nobody else was in the car and I didn't see any blood. 

Piper: Ok, Josh why don't you go upstairs.  Wait, give me your cellphone.

Toby: What are you tryin' to pull. 

Piper: Trust me ok.  Josh give me your phone, go upstairs and get into bed. 

Josh: Whatever you do just don't dig me into deeper shit then I'm already in. 

Toby: Don't worry bro, can't really get any worse right? Yeah I probably shouldn't have said that.  Oh well, it's cool man just go get in bed.

     Josh goes upstairs and goes to bed.  At 10 am his parents come in to wake him.  

Josh's Dad: Wake up son.  Toby told us what happened.  There are a couple of police officers downstairs who want to talk to you.  Why don't you get dressed and downstairs.

Josh: Police? What why?

Josh's Mom: It's ok hunny.  Toby told us everything, it's going to be ok.

Josh: Ok, um, just let me get dressed I'll be right down.

     2 Minutes Later. Josh is walking down the stairs and Toby stops him.


Josh: Thank you very fucking much for your help.  The police dude?

Toby: Oh hey Josh.  They found your phone in the car.  I think you got a text, check your messages (wink).

Josh: Huh? (Josh opens his messages.  He has one from a random prepaid cellphone that reads: You stopped at the rave to pick up your friend Bill.  We called Bill he's on board.  You got out of the car for a second to see where he was, someone hopped in, and stole the car.  You heard the car was ditched at the High School so you walked all the way there.  When you realized it wasn't there it was already 2 am.  At that point you walked home.  You left your phone in the car.  When you got home you told us about it and we said we'd call the cops.  Delete this now and stick to the story. ) As Josh closes his phone he is face to face with two police officers.

Police Officer 1: Hi Josh, we've got some questions for you.  Shouldn't take too long.

Josh: Ok sure.

Police Officer 1: So you say the car was stolen from the Rave at the old Miller's Barn.  What time was that at?

Josh: Ummm, I think around 12:45-1 am.  I don't really know cuz I don't wear a watch and I left my phone in my car.  My bro just gave it back to me. 

Police Officer 2: Why were you out that late? You're curfew is midnight according to your parents.  Plus as a junior driver you shouldn't be out past 11:30 anyway.

Josh: I actually had gotten home but my buddy Bill called me saying he needed a ride.  He doesn't usually ask favors so I figured it was urgent.  I thought no big deal I'll just pick Bill up and take him home.

Police Officer 2: Ok so you get there and then what happened?

Josh: I parked out front and got out of the car for a second to look around for Bill.  I left it running like a dumbass but I didn't see anyone around so I didn't think it was a big deal.  I was probably just looking around for a minute or so and then I heard the door slam shut.  I turned around and the dude flipped on the high beams blinding me; I never got a good look.  Then he tore off back the way he came. 

Police Officer 1: So where was Bill during all this?

Josh:  I don't know, I never met up with him.  He was probably messed up and just got a ride from someone else and forgot to tell me. 

Police Officer 2:  So you knew the car was stolen, why didn't you borrow someone's phone and call the police?

Josh:  I didn't see anyone around so I started walking home. 

Police Officer 1: Nobody around, but it was a Rave.  There should have been lots of people?

Josh: Yeah, I guess it was a weak turnout.  I mean you guys didn't bust one last night, did you?
 
Police Officer 2: There were a couple big parties on campus we had to bust up, I guess we missed the rave.  Ok so you're walking home. You don't live far from Miller's Barn, why's it take you three hours.

Josh: As I was walking I ran into my buddy Bill.  He got a ride from some random people.  He said that he had just come from the High School and he saw my parent's car ditched there.  His ride was going the opposite way so I said I'd just walk there and get my car.  By the time I got there the car was gone and I had walked an hour there.  I just turned around and walked home after that.


Police Officer 1: So genius, why didn't you borrow Bill's phone and call us, or your parents, or anyone.

Josh: Let me ask you something? If you were 17 and were about to be caught for losing a car would you be rushing to tell your parents or the authorities?

Police Officer 2: Hah that's a good point kid.  Still why didn't you call?

Josh: I saw my shot to get my car back; without telling my parents.  I figure some punks took it for a joyride and then ditched it.  At that point I hoped I could just get it home and nobody would know. 

Police Officer 1: Ok so you get there, no car.  Then what?

Josh: I came home. What else could I do?

Police Officer 2: And that's when you told your brother about what happened.  He told you to take it easy and he called us.  End of the story right?

Josh: I guess, I mean that's all I've got for you.

Police Officer 1: So you know nothing about this anonymous tip we got from a prepaid cellphone about the exact location of the car. 

Josh: This is the only cellphone I have and it's not prepaid.   You can even check the call history.

Police Officer 1: Ok give it here.

     Josh realizes he never deleted the text message.  It's over, he knows he's caught.

Police Officer 2: Oh here give me that.  Ok call history, nope no calls to the station.  Last call was to a Bill.  Looks like that part holds up.

Police Officer 1:  Well kid, it adds up.  Weird night but your story adds up to what your brother told us and what that Bill kid said.

     Piper sticks her head around the corner and winks at Josh.  

Police Officer 1: One last thing?

Josh: Yeah?

Police Officer 2: Do you know who this girl is? Hold up a Driver's license with the photo of an eighteen year old girl named Amber Strofsky.  

Josh: No, who's that?

Police Officer 2: We found her body in the trunk of your car.  No leads, yet.  We'll have to take some prints from you but it must have been the guys who stole your car.  Ok Josh?

Police: Ok Josh?

To be continued...

Another Short Scene

        Dan just bought the perfect engagement ring for his girlfriend Joanne (Jo).  On the morning of the day that he's planning his proposal he checks the box to find that his ring is missing.  Dan runs around his apartment frantically checking everywhere but he can't find the ring.  He begins to panic and then decides that he must do the only sensible thing he can:  retrace his steps before the end of the day.  Jo's at work for the day so Dan knows that he has the day to find the ring.  He's already told Jo that he has something special planned for dinner that night so it's not like he can put it off; plus she may know that it's coming because they've dated for five years.

     Dan calls the Jewelery Store where he bought the ring praying that he left the ring there.

Clerk: Robinson's diamonds this is Jenny how can I help you?

Dan: Hi Jenny this is Dan Stein; I was in yesterday to pick up the engagement ring for my fiance.  By any chance did I leave the ring in the store when I left.

Jenny:  I don't think that anyone left any jewelery behind yesterday.  I was here all day yesterday.  Let me check if anyone else found anything.   

Dan: (To Himself) I can't fucking believe this.  Seriously? Why today of all days?

Jenny: Hi, Dan?

Dan: Yes, I'm here.  Please tell me I left it there.

Jenny: Sorry, no luck.  I'm sure it's around your house or car somewhere.  Sometimes people take them out of the box to shine them up before they propose; I know we advise that.

Dan: Yeah I did that but I swear I put it back in the box.  I'll just have to keep looking, thanks for your help.

Jenny:  No problem, I'm sure you'll find it soon.

     In a panic Dan calls his best friend Carl to ask for help.  

Carl: Hey man what's up? You ready to lose all of your freedom to one chick for the rest of your life.

Dan: On any other day I'd appreciate your cynical and sometimes disturbing humor but not today Carl.  I lost the fucking ring.  What the hell am I gonna do man?  That thing cost like ten grand and I know Jo expects something special tonight.  Shit she probably even knows that I'm gonna pop the question tonight.  What do I do bro?

Carl: It's cool man we'll figure this out.  First of all, did you retrace your steps from the store?  Check your car all your pockets and turn your place upside down?

Dan: I've already turned my place upside down.  Here stay on the phone I'll go out to my car and see if it fell between the seats or something. 

     Dan goes out to his car retracing all of his steps and begins searching under the seats and everything.

Carl: Did you call the place?  See if maybe you left it there?

Dan: Did it my man.  No such luck.  You think it's worth it to walk the street in front of the place?  I figure if I dropped it in the street it'd be gone anyway.

Carl:  Good call.  I mean worth a shot but it's a long shot.  I don't think the ring just jumped out of the box onto the sidewalk and it's not like you had it out playing with it right?

Dan: Of course not, the thing never left the box until I took it out to shine it. 

Carl:  Hmmmm, this is a tough one man.  Look this may be kind of crazy but Jo's known for playing practical jokes on you.  You think maybe she found it this morning and just put it on?  I mean honestly dude I wouldn't put it past her. 

Dan:  Ok hang on I'll call her...wait, what the hell am I gonna say?  "Oh hey by any chance did you go into my drawer, pull out the ring, and start wearing it?"

Carl: Dude just go down to her office and surprise her with lunch or flowers.  You always pull cheesy bullshit like that you romantic sap.  And ten grand, seriously?  What is that like your life savings plus a loan from the mob?  You don't have the kind of cash.

Dan:  We've been together for five years Carl.  I've been savings since around the six month point.  I love this girl man, she's the one for me.  I'd pay ten times what I paid for a ring if I had it.

Carl:  don't make me cry bro.  This shit is just too beautiful.

Dan: Haha fuck off dude, but thanks for your help.  I'm gonna go to the office and surprise her.

Carl:  Good luck man.  And don't worry, it'll work out for the best.

Dan: Later man.

     Dan gets in his car and goes to the flower shop to buy a bouquet.  He figured he'll surprise her with flowers and a lunch date.  That way he'll be able to spot the ring on her finger if she took it.  When he arrives at the building Dan takes the elevator up to Jo's floor.  He's been there plenty of times before and heads straight for her office.  On the way he sees Jo's secretary Rebecca.

Dan: Hey Becca, Jo in there?

Becca: Oh Dan, flowers, you're such a sweet guy.  I think she's in a meeting I'll tell her your here.

Dan:  No it's cool I'll just go in and surprise her.

     Dan tries the door and notices that it's locked.  He also finally notices that the blinds are down, something he's never seen before.  

That's weird, you sure she's in here?

Becca:  I was sure she said that she said she was interviewing for the new junior analyst position over lunch.  I'll just call in.  Hi Jo, Dan's out here.  He brought flowers.  Ok I'll tell him.  She says she'll be out in a minute.

Dan: Ok, no problem. 

    A minute later a young man exits and quickly moves down the hallway.  Dan notices that his tie is loose and off to the left.  The man didn't have anything in his hands either, no portfolio, resume, or anything else.  Like he left in a hurry.  Then Jo comes out of the office.  He hair looks disheveled, and her shirt is unbuttoned a bit. 

Jo: Hey babe! Flowers, oh you shouldn't have. 

Dan: What the hell was that Jo? Door locked, blinds down, and then you walk out here with sex hair.  Do you think I'm a fucking idiot?

Jo: What are you talking about?

Dan: That little shit practically sprints down the hallway and you walk out here looking all flustered.  Your caught just admit it.

Jo:  You really think I would cheat on you?

Dan: Not until about thirty seconds ago.

Jo: What are you gonna do about it?

Dan:  This is where I tell you to go fuck yourself and I chase that little shit down and beat his ass in. 

Jo:  You want your ring back?

Dan: As a matter of fact...wait a sec you have the ring?  I've been looking everywhere for it. 

Jo:  Looks like you found it.  Oh by the way, Carl says GOT YA!  HAHAHA you should see how red your face is right now.

Dan: Wait a minute slow down.  Are you saying this whole day, this whole thing is one big prank? 

Jo: Haha yeah babe.  I'm sorry I just had to.  I guess you left the ring on the table by accident last night and when I got up in the middle of the night to get a drink I saw it.  It was so pretty so I had to put it on.  Instead of waking you up I figured I'd punish you a little for being so irresponsible with it. 

Dan: So you cheated on me as punishment?

Jo: Wow, Bec he still doesn't get it.  It was all one big hoax.  Bec and Carl were both in on it.  Even Scott was in on it. 

Dan: Who's the hell is Scott?

     The young guy who previously emerged from the office comes back laughing hysterically.  Dan finally starts to realize how badly he was tricked. 

Scott:  Dude, I'm sorry, but you should have seen your face.  You looked like a raging bull.  I thought for a second there you were gonna spear me. 

Dan: I still kind of want to.

Jo:  I'm sorry babe, you know me, I couldn't resist. 

Dan:  I don't even know what to say.  You almost gave me a heart attack. 

Becca:  I'm sorry Dan, we all thought it would be funny so we went along with it.

     Dan doesn't know what to say so he just looks around the room.  Everyone looks like they feel horrible about it.  then a twinkle catches his eye.  It's the ring on Jo's finger.  Her smile turns to a frown, and she looks like she might cry.

Jo: Babe I'm sorry, don't be mad ok? Nothing happened.

Dan:  Well you're wearing the ring, so that means "yes" right?

Jo: Like you'd even have to ask, of course babe. 

      Dan goes over and hugs and kisses Jo.  The whole office claps for them.

Dan:  Don't ever fucking do that to me again, ok?

Jo:  You kidding? This is only the beginning.  You know what you signed up for with me. 

     Fin

*I'm too lazy to edit, forgive the grammatical errors*

Overdue Movie Reviews

I haven't done a movie review in a while so I'll try to cover a few at once.  First I'll begin with a movie that I really enjoyed.  I watched Happy Thank You More Please not too long ago, and I really enjoyed it.  The movie can be awkward and unconventional but features a few very unique scenarios.  The main character is very dynamic.  It's easy to love or hate him, but his change throughout the movie is interesting to see.  It's tough for me to review this movie without giving away too much.  If you're interested in seeing the life of some young, struggling people in New York City and the obstacles that they encounter during their everyday lives in their professional and personal lives, then you'll probably enjoy this movie.  It's a funny, sad, and feel good movie all wrapped into one.  It specifically touched me because the male lead is a writer who struggles to publish his first novel, and the second female lead is Kate Mara who I absolutely adore.  Definitely see Happy Thank You More Please. 

I finally got a chance to see Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon.  I'll be honest, this one didn't do anything for me.  Cool concept and story line but I think the first two movies just left little to be desired with this third movie.  It just seemed like a case of same shit different day.  I never thought I'd say this but Rosie Huntington-Whitley was such an upgrade from Meghan Fox in both her looks and her acting.  Bravo Michael Bay; topping Meghan Fox was no easy feat. This was supposed to be the best action movie of all-time and definitely fell short of that title.  X-Men: First Class definitely topped it with the acting and action.  I was disappointed because I really have enjoyed the Transformers series but the third one just fell short for me.  It was so predictable and repeated a lot from the first two movies.  What I'm starting to see is that it's really hard to top the first movie in an action movie series.  It's like they put so much awesomeness into the first movie and then they really can't do much more with the second or third.  Oh well, hopefully the Avengers movie will be awesome.

I swear I watched another movie recently.  Oh well I guess not.  I was all excited to play touch football tonight and it was just cancelled...bummer.  Another time I guess. 

A Modern Day Courtship

     Ben shows up to his watering hole, the local Starbucks, for his ritual of Saturday morning paper       grading.  He doesn't tell anyone but Ben frequents this Starbucks in particular because of a good looking Barista named Shana.  Ben's never made any attempts to pursue Shana, but if the chance presented itself Ben wouldn't hesitate. On this particular day fate stepped in.

Shana: Hey Ben, how's it goin?

Ben: I'm well how about you?

Shana: Doing well thanks.  The usual today? Grande Cafe Misto?

Ben: You got it.  Great memory.  So what's new with you?

Shana: Not much, you know same old.  Trying to go back to school but I'm not sure what I want to do so just working as much as I can for right now.

Ben: That's great.  I'm sure you'll find your direction sometime soon.  How much do I owe you?

Shana: That'll be $2.70.

Ben: Here's $3; keep the change.

Shana: Thanks Ben, good to see you.

Ben: You too, good luck with school.

Shana: Thanks.

      Ben sits down next to an older gentleman to wait for his drink.

Sam: Hows it going today?

Ben: I'm well thanks.  Just grading papers, you?

Sam: Can't complain, just a great lookin' Saturday.  Papers huh? You a teacher?

Ben:  Yes sir, 10th grade English.

Sam: Wow 10th grade, good for you.  I remember years ago when my kids were in 10th grade.  They can be a handful at that age.

Ben:  Haha some days they definitely can be.  It's a good age though, I don't mind them...on most days.

     Both men laugh.

Shana: Ben, your misto's ready.

Ben: Thanks Shana, take care.

Shana: Thanks you too, don't work too hard.

Ben: I'll try not to.

     Ben goes back to his seat.

Sam: Real sweet girl that one.

Ben: Sigh.  Yeah she's great.

Sam: Pointing to Ben's finger.  I don't see a ring, you married.

Ben: Nope, free as a bird.

Sam: No girlfriend either?

Ben: Nothin'.

Sam: You're kidding me right? Good lookin' guy like you? Girls should be bustin' down your door.

Ben: It baffles me too (Both men laugh).  Oh well what can you do.

Sam: What about her? You two seem to get along alright. Motions to Shana.  She smiles back.

Ben: I'd love to, but I don't think she seems me that way.  I'm just a customer you know?

Sam: You're crazy kid.  Look, I'm gonna have to be frank with you because apparently those in your generation have trouble growin' a set of balls.  You like this girl, and she's nice to you.  It's simple, you ask her out to dinner and a movie and see if somethin' happens.  If not, no harm done.  Worst comes to worst you have to find a new watering hole. 

Ben: Trust me man, she's not interested.  I know girls.

Sam: You don't know shit kid.  Now I'm gonna call her over in a minute and you better nut up. 

Ben: Don't. Seriously don't...You're bluffing anyway. 

     Sam motions Shana over.  

Sam:  Hey dear can you come here for a second.  I think there's somethin' wrong with my buddy, uh what'd you say your name was?

Ben: Hmph. Ben.

Sam: Yeah, Ben.  Sorry friend, you tend to forget things in your old age.  Now if you two will excuse me for a second I need to use the restroom.

Shana: I'm sorry Ben, something wrong with your drink.

Ben: Umm....no actually the drink is fine; great as usual.  Actually, I was wondering...would you maybe want to join me for dinner or a movie sometime?

Shana: I'm sorry Ben, company policy is we can't date customers.

Ben: Oh ok, nevermind.  Forget I said anything.

Shana: Hahaha.  I'm fucking with you Ben.  Yeah that'd be fun.  Here give me your phone, I'll put in my number. 

Ben: Oh sure, here you go.  Drops his phone.

Shana: Haha, you alright there?

Ben: Yeah, sorry, you just took me by surprise. 

Shana: Honestly Ben, it's about time.  I wondered when you were finally going to pull the trigger.  That or I figured you had a girlfriend. 

Ben: Nope, no girlfriend.

Shana: Good to know.  Here you go (Hand him back his phone) now you have my number.  I'm off Thursday and Saturday nights.  Call me.

Ben:  I will.

     Shana walks away smiling. Sam comes back over.

Sam: What'd I miss kid?

Ben: Smiling like an idiot.  I got her number. 

Sam: Way to man up kid. 

Ben:  I'm sorry I never caught your name.

Sam: Seriously, you don't know who I am.  Do I need to pull out my boy and arrow.  Cupid's the name, love's the game.

Ben: Puzzled...Ok...

Sam:  Geez kid, can't anyone in your generation take a joke.  I'm Sam, good to meet you.

Ben: Oh, haha, nice to meet you too Sam.  And thanks. 

Sam:  Happy to be of service.  If you ever need a kick in the butt to get moving come find me.  I'm usually hanign' around these parts.

Ben: I'll do that.

Sam: You better.  Now, go tear some kids a new one with those papers.  Someone's gotta whip these idiots in shape.  God knows what's gonna happen to this country when one of these jokers is in office. 

Ben: Haha, don't worry.  I'll whip them into shape.

      Fin