Finally The Rock Has Come Back...To Wrestling

So happy I finally got a good night's sleep last night.  It's been two weeks, maybe more since I've slept through the night.  It's really bad, I think I need to work on my very poor sleep habits.  I average between 5 and 6 hours a night; definitely not optimal.  Today I could feel my heart pounding through my sternum and for some reason the first thought on my mind was, 'This is totally because I don't get enough sleep.' It's not my fault though, honest (so 1950s but I always loved that expression).  I get into bed at the appropriate time for a night of 7-8 hours of sleep but I can't fall asleep until at the earliest midnight.  So when I have my 6 am wake up calls I'm usually in bed by 12, asleep by 12:15 and 12:30, wake up two to three times a night, so I'd say I net about 5 hours.  Oh well, it'll all work itself out by student teaching when I'll be so tired I won't be able to wake up. 

I was going to come up with my own rhyme scheme tonight and call it yonni scheme but I think I'll save that for tomorrow so I can produce a poem of worth.  I'm thinking 22 lines consisting of 5 quatrains and one couplet.  22 is my lucky number because it's the day I was born, in the month of October, so I think it'd be cool to do a rhyme scheme with 22 lines.  I'm so happy that I don't have class tomorrow.  Going to Thursday's class is so discouraging because the round trip driving actually takes longer than the duration of the class.  For some reason that just makes the class not seem worth it to me.  Today went well though for a Super Wednesday.   Lots of tutoring that keeps getting better.  I'm learning a lot from one of the teacher's I'm observing and I'm growing a lot more comfortable with students in a tutoring setting.  And I got to go back to my new favorite place, Talula's table.  Although today there were people sitting at my favorite table with the awesome chairs so I was slightly mad.  Either way still a good time.  Then I did a research presentation in my evening class that I thought went pretty well.  I can do better than this, I'm just recounting my day.  Where's the fire, the passion?  I need to dig deep to produce something of worth.  Or is this the calm before the storm, the appetizer for tomorrow's poem that will blow your socks off.  Well with that type of build up it better be kick ass.  I've never fancied myself a poet but if I'm going to toot my own horn like that I better step up my game.  My rhymes will have to be witty and elegant, complex and and hilarious, fun and honest...I could go on and on. 

I'll need to find a new solution for lunch/dinner on Wednesdays.  For the last couple of weeks (super Wednesdays aka 16-16 1/2 hour days) I've been buying Wawa chicken salad hoagies and let me tell you they have not been sitting well.  I'll have to pack a lot more food or try something else because the Wawa hoagies no longer sit well with me.  It's crazy how when you start to eat really healthy, and then deviate, it just hurts your stomach.  It's like your body being like, 'Woah I thought you swore off crappy food.  Now I have to work extra hard to break down this crap that isn't even good for you.'  And then your body pays you back with feelings of grossness.  It's like I can hear my stomach and lower intestines laughing at me, knowing I'm in pain and they are the cause.  Oh healthy food, how you are such a challenge.  Maybe I'll just start buying wawa salads or something.  I'd love to pack food from home for both lunch and dinner but for some reason I just feel like that's too much.  At least that's how I justify packing lunch and buying dinner, even though I shouldn't be spending money on food because I don't have any.  Maybe this weekend I'll search for places around school where I could purchase affordable and healthy food (if that's even possible as affordable and healthy are two words that usually don't play nicely with one another).  That'd be a fun little google adventure; finding a small cafe that has salads and gourmet sandwiches or something. 

This Sunday is Wrestlemania and I totally want to purchase the pay-per-view.  Back in the day (7th and 8th grade) I was totally obsessed with professional wrestling.  It was to the point that I actually wanted to be a professional wrestler.  I still wouldn't mind-they make bank-I'm just nowhere near the physique I would need for such a gig.  Anyway, in recent years I've found that wrestling's really lost it's quality.  There's too much talking, drama, and guys don't hate me but too many hot girls parading around.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of pretty ladies, but that's not why I watch(ed) wrestling.  I want to see two huge, grown men pummeling the crap out of eachother even if it's 'fake'.  The only fake things about it are the personalities and the match winners, but you can't fake a body slam.  And yeah they hold back on their punches and kicks but it's entertaining when you actually have two wrestles going at it without all the drama and talking.  Most importantly though, the Rock is coming back to wrestling for Wrestlemania; he's even hosting it.  I'm pumped up for it, I've always loved the Rock and now that he's back I find myself slightly interested in wrestling again.  What to title this post? How about I'm delirious, can't recall what I've written so far, and really could use another good night's sleep. 

Conspiracy Theories

I think about conspiracy theories all the time.  Just crazy, hypothetical scenarios that are very improbable but nevertheless come about through my unique and sometimes dark imagination.  For instance, you ever think that the lottery isn't real; that nobody ever wins? I mean do you know anybody who actually won the lottery and is alive to tell you about it? I don't.  Now I know they publish the winners in newspapers and other stories but all of that could be fabricated.  I mean seriously what is a better way of giving the general low to middle class population hope than to give everyone a chance to become an instant millionaire? It sounds all good and well but seriously, is there really a state-wide institution that is just handing out millions of dollars in exchange for your one dollar ticket purchase? I find it highly unlikely that people in possession of such riches would just dole it out to a random, lucky winner.  To take it a step further, I feel like the lottery machines are hooked up to a database.  Whenever you punch in your 5 or six numbers those numbers are sent into the database and those numbers will definitely not come up as winning numbers. The system just seems to easy and utopia like.  It provides hope for poor people and the middle class by thinking that there is light at the end of the tunnel when really the only way to make money in society is to be super talented, to work your ass off and make some money the old-fashioned way, or to be born into it.  So I guess my message to all of you lotto players is if you're not talented or on the receiving end of a trust fund, find your golden idea and work your ass off to achieve it if you're looking to get rich. 

Since I'm on this conspiracy theory kick there's something else that I've always wondered.  You know how AIDS is most prevalent in the gay and African-American communities.  You ever wonder if the government created AIDS in an effort to incite population control? Like the government saw those two populations as undesirable people and used AIDS as a tool to eliminate the two groups.  I mean it's been around for a little while and still no cure? Plus pharmaceutical companies make a killing off the 'cocktail' that keeps the rich people with AIDS alive.  I don't know it just seems weird to me how it's a disease so prevalent in two historically hated groups of people and how no cure has yet been discovered.  Plus I was reading this book, Risky Rhetoric..., and it discussed how the majority of government money for AIDS goes to testing and counseling.  Shouldn't that money go towards finding a cure as well?  I mean sure testing is important but nonstop testing is preventative nor does it cure the disease.  Just another crazy situation in life that makes you wonder what's going on you know?

Those are just a couple of crazy theories I have.  Who knows if they hold any ground but if I suddenly disappear and you never hear from me again you'll know why. 

My New Favorite Youtube Sensation

I have lots of schoolwork ahead of me tonight so I'm just going to list and review a lot of things that I've been obsessed with lately.  One of them is Burt's Bees lip balm.  The stuff is so excellent, works amazingly for chapped lips and dry skin around the mouth.  You may be dissuaded from buying Burt's Bees products because they are significantly more than chaptstick and other household names but the extra price is worth every penny.  I've also been obsessed with running.  I've gotten back into my groove and it feels great.  I'm shooting for running five days a week with weight training mixed in.  In no time I should be in excellent shape and I couldn't be happier about it.  While I'm on this kick I might as well endorse another product that I use almost daily.  Some months back-maybe even a year-Axe came out with all of those witty commercials for different hair products.  Now, I've always prided myself on avoiding advertising schemes and buying products based on their reputation and necessity but something about those Axe hair styling commercials captivated me.  Maybe it was the hot girls in the commercial or the look of the guys' hair when they were done styling but I just remember the first time I saw the stuff in CVS I thought, 'I want to try that stuff.'  Plus the product that I was previously using was double the price so that didn't hurt.  Anyway, dudes, if you're looking for some good hair stuff try the Axe products, I use the messy look putty with the yellow writing. 

I've also rediscovered youtube and the youtube offshoot of vevo for music videos.  It's funny how I won't go on youtube for a while and then I'll want to see a specific video so I'll go on and watch some clips of some crazy stuff.  I could seriously get lost in watching random videos on youtube for hours and I would have last night except for I had tutoring this morning which meant up at 6 am and I wanted my sleep.  On youtube I found crazy videos of different animals fighting one another.  There was a great video of a mother cougar taking on a grizzly bear who was threatening her cubs.  Crazy stuff, so ballsy (haha even though she doesn't have balls, wow I'm immature).  More so than crazy animal battles I've been obsessed with this Scottish trial biker named Danny MaCaskill.  I used to rise BMX and I was quite terrible but for most of high school I was still really into it.  Since High School my interest has slowly faded but watching this guy totally makes me want to ride again.  He's so crazy and can do some things on a bike that I never thought I would see.  I really liked my friend Steve's description when he said that the guy is basically doing parkour on a bike.  If you don't know what parkour is then your should definitely youtube that as well.  Basically it's when people do ridiculous acrobatics in an urban setting.  I also watch movie trailers like it's my job either on moviefone.com or apple.com/trailers.  I'm always excited to see what new movies are coming out.  Ok I've really got to go and finish reading 1984 or read enough to the point that I feel like I know the book and read the rest on sparknotes (the more likely occurence because I already feel my eyelids drooping and I also have other assignments besides reading). 

Dear Mother Nature,

Why must you continue to mess with us here in the Mid-Atlantic region of the United States? It's not fair to give us clear skies and then freezing temperatures.  Clear skies are the universal sign for a beautiful day meaning slight breeze with temps between 65-75.  Not giving us the full product right now, and I must say I'm not liking it.  Haven't you put us through enough this winter with all of the snow and freezing cold temperatures?  I understand this may have been a difficult week for you; maybe you weren't on your game.  That's ok, from here we can only move forward because the recent weather has been the ultimate tease, and there's nothing I hate more than a tease.  There's a simple solution to this problem: a not-so-rainy April with lots of nice spring days featuring clear skies and not too much wind.  You're probably thinking why am I so picky about the wind.  Well I happen to be a fan of the Frisbee and super windy days don't really cater well to the ultimate game.  Same thing with basketball and football, other sports in which I dabble.  Sports where you have to throw an object from one place to another don't work very well with lots of wind.  So please take my sanity along with the sanity of millions of others into consideration and end this cold.  You gave us a taste a couple of weeks ago and now we're ready for the whole thing.  This winter was brutal and it's time to put it behind us for a better Spring, Summer, and Fall.  Let's make it happen.

Yours Truly,
                   Yonni

Summer Mission: Write a Manuscript

Tomorrow I'm calling my old boss to the what the possibilities of me getting my old job back are.  I really don't like the  new job and when I went into Borders to buy a book today I was told that they were hurting for people.  If that's truly the case and I can get the hours that I want I'm going to go back.  I just can't stand working at this new place, something about it just really rubs me the wrong way.  Maybe it's that they messed up my pay, or possibly that I was lied to when I was told that the job paid three times what I made at Borders.  Or maybe it's that this boss likes to yell at his employees for illegitimate reasons, something that I don't do well with.  If I mess up then by all means let me have it but I'm not about to get bitched out because of mistakes made by workers of the previous shift.  It's so frustrating I have a research project due tomorrow and so I need to wake up early and finish and submit that before going back to work tomorrow night.  Honestly if I can't finish the project or if I get my old job back I may just call and not go in.  I really don't like this new job, and I think I need to listen to my gut which right now is telling me that it's all wrong. 

I've come up with an idea from a manuscript based off the short story that I was going to publish on here.  Basically I'm going to write about my most recent relationship (ended over 7 months ago).  Kind of a contemporary love story that was never quite love because it was one-sided.  Definitely a twist on your usual romance and I'm really looking forward to writing it.  I'm planning on completing a manuscript by the end of the summer so hopefully I can get that done.  So sorry for the brevity of this post but I'm beat tired and I have lots of schoolwork and thinking to do for tomorrow. 

Changing it up

The First Run Back

As I stare ahead and begin to move,
My knees and ankles start to ache,
It's so hard to get back into my groove,
I wonder how much more I can take,
Even though I have only begun,
My lungs fill up with air and burn,
But it's only been a short run,
I assure myself as I round the next turn,
Before me stands a gargantuan hill,
Overshadowed by the budding trees of spring,
Right now I could use a strong pill,
For the pain in my back that begins the sting,
The first day back is always so tough,
But at least on the beach I'll look very buff.

There's my attempt at creative writing, Shakespearean sonnet.  Criticize, analyze, laugh, but please say something. 

Thank You Nice Girl at Starbucks

I'm so tired right now and I don't feel like working out; luckily the words are still coming to me.  I should probably be working on a research project for my English class that's due Saturday by Midnight aka Saturday by 4pm (the time I have to be at work).  I'm just not feeling it right now, no worries though I'll just get up early tomorrow and on Saturday to work on it.  Or maybe I'll find some motivation later tonight to crank some of my project out, we shall see.  So today was an alright day.  I turned in my persuasive piece-the one I posted two days ago-and I got to read some of my friends' writing.  Overall I enjoyed their writing and we got to see a really cool lesson done by another one of our classmates.  So the day was going fine until that point.

Then there were the mock interviews and well the day took a turn for the...different for lack of a better word.  The interviews were very intimidating because I felt like I was so far away from being ready for a job.  Given I haven't student taught yet and everyone there was student teaching I was in the minority but I still felt really intimidated and unprepared.  On the drive home I attempted to reassure myself that when the time for the real interview comes I will be prepared to rock whatever interview comes my way.  I just look at all of the people in my classes and how I am going to be such a better teacher than so many of them.  Right now I just feel weird.  Overrall I feel fine-still happy with my life besides my job that I may quit-but I'm fine.  Sure the mock interviews were intimidating but I can't be fearful of the true interview and of finding a job.  So many of the speakers were talking about budget cuts and the tough job market but I just need to block all of that out.  No matter what happens I'm going to find a job and I'm going to be a great teacher.  I can't let any of the statistics or factors in life right now hurt my confidence at all.  Who care if the economy stinks and education is losing more money every year, bottom line is I'm going to get a job and I'll be one of the best if not the best teacher at my school.   Ok I'm starting to feel a little better, not great but better. 

I haven't slept well all week and I don't know why.  Maybe that's why I'm feeling off, who knows.  Either way I know I'm fine and that things will improve.  Hopefully after I finish this research project by Saturday I can attempt to produce a narrative of worth.  Sigh, it would be awesome if I could just be a writer and have somebody pay me for it.  I'd really like that.  Or to just win the lottery and not have to worry about a job, money, or anything else.  Then I could just relax, focus on my life and my writing and all would be well.  So now that dream time is over back to reality.  Coffee sounds good right about now.  Oh story: Cute girl at Starbucks gave me an extra cookie today for no reason.  I bought an oatmeal raisin cookie while waiting at the library at school before the mock interviews.  After I walked away with my coffee and cookie I looked in the bag and who knew, there was a second one in there.  Thanks cute red-headed girl, that was very nice of you.  I'll have to make sure to thank her in person next time I'm in the Bucks.  But yeah that definitely spruced up my day.  That and Britt and Jeff laughing at my persuasive piece.  I was really happy that people found it funny; I think it's funny.  Maybe that should be my calling; stand up comedian.  Haha yeah right just like I want to be a writer.  How about I do both and see which one makes me a living first.  Boom there you go, I'll be a Jack of All Trades when it comes to entertaining and informing.  Writer/sportswriter/comedian/whatever else you want me to be as long as it's legal and not in the adult film industry (although that type of work is probably very enjoyable it kills any possibilities of serious work).  I totally want to write a stand-up routine now and give it a shot. 

Talula's Table

I was all set to write a narrative and I even got started on one, but I don't know if I like the dark turn that it took.  I'm going to need to give it some serious thought before I publish it because although it's realistic fiction (very realistic in this case) I just don't know.  Anyway the good thing is I got an idea for another narrative that I see myself starting soon.  I also think I'm going to experiment with some poetry.  One thing that I've learned about myself as a writer lately is that when I tend to rush through my writing and produce something it's usually crap.  It's not crap because of the diction, spelling, or grammar but because I'm not happy with it so in result it lacks fire and voice.  For instance, my persuasive piece that I wrote yesterday was the result of me hating my first attempt at a persuasive piece.  I didn't feel good about the first piece at all so I erased the whole thing and started from square one.  I'm happy-not only with life even when things are crappy-but because I really feel that I'm growing as a writer. 

If it were earlier I'd give narrative number two a shot but I need to get some sleep after my first super Wednesday.  Out of the house at 7 am and not home again until 10 pm, and surprisingly not as bad as I imagined it would be.  I think the key to getting through crappy days and situations is to build them up in your mind as really crappy before hand.  That way you will expect the events of the day to blow, and you may be pleasantly surprised when you find that the suckiness was grossly exaggerated.  Take my sister's move for instance.  For weeks before it I kept telling myself how much it was going to suck and then on the day of-when we had even fewer people than expected-it really wasn't that bad.  Same thing with super Wednesday; I've been telling myself all semester how much these are going to stink and now it wasn't even that bad.  There's my tid bit for the day kids:  If you have an undesirable situation coming up expect the worst.  That way you'll know what to expect and you'll likely be pleasantly surprised when the day and/or event isn't nearly as bad as you thought it would be. 

Switching gears now, I had a very interesting morning.  I thought that I had found a Starbucks in Kennett Square but the establishment I found online has either been closed for some time or has not yet been opened.  Luckily when I asked for directions I was directed to a small coffee shop/bakery called Talula's Table.  It was so quaint and pleasant with a lot of hand baked goods and different drinks.  The pastries were a bit pricey but the coffee was affordable, and the place was so clean.  I loved the hardwood floors throughout; there was even dark tik (spelling) in the bathroom.  The table that I sat at was really cool; it was sort of like if you found a wavy tree trunk about a foot and a half thick and sliced it like bread long ways and then took one of those slices and made it into a table.  It reminded me of Jack's (Ashton Kutcher) homemade bar in the movie What Happens in Vegas.  The chairs were super comfortable too and I am super picky with chairs.  I'm a mover-as in I am never comfortable when I'm sitting so I constantly squirm but these chairs were perfect.  They were stool highs and the seat dipped in a bit like a shallow bowl with a simple back providing just enough support.  No joke I wanted to ask if the table and chairs were for sale that's how comfy they were.  Literally I need to find out where they got that furniture because I want it badly.  So happy I went to that place instead of Starbucks-no offense 'Bucks-it was just such a fun experience.  Maybe I'll go back there for coffee and lunch with Britt one day after tutoring. 

Side Note: I really want to write more but I am so tired and I still need to write a planning reflection for tomorrow's class.  I have mock interviews tomorrow in Downingtown; I hope I do well.  I was probably going to write about something else but as soon as I decided I was finished the thoughts left my mind.  No worries tomorrow I will have plenty of excitement to share and hopefully I'll produce a narrative. 

Not quite a Narrative but Enjoy

So I'm kind of taking the easy road out tonight and I'm going to post a persuasive piece that I wrote for one of my classes.  I had this serious persuasive essay written up about how people shouldn't download music illegally (not a subject I have strong feelings on hence why I did not feel much passion writing that crappy paper).  After realizing that I wasn't having fun with that I decided to add in some comedy and write about a situation that hits closer to home.  I was influenced by my buddy Jeff who did an excellent job incorporating satire into his piece.  Mine is not quite satirical but I hope that you at least get a laugh or two out of the following persuasive letter. 

To My Neighbor Who I Barely know,

                I am writing to you as both an annoyed citizen of Magnolia Terrace, as well as an individual who is concerned for the safety of your canine.  Since I have lived at this address (moved in July of 2004) there has been a consistent occurrence that disturbs me early in the morning.  I am commonly roused between 5 and 6 am by the shrill barking of a small dog; your bijon frise.  If I were to normally be awake at such hours this would not bother me as much, but when I am woken up early on a Saturday morning-my day off-I feel quite disturbed and agitated.  I am urging to please let your dog stay inside your house, and not to leave him/her outside, barking repeatedly. 

Even if the other neighbors have not said anything to you, I’m sure that they feel the same way.  Nobody enjoys being woken up before they are ready, especially not when the source of such an alarm could be preventable.  Your dog’s barking is technically a noise violation; the same as loud music and noises during inappropriate times of the day.  I would hate to see this disturbance escalate to the point that police intervention would be necessary.  If you love your dog and the endless barking that comes out of its mouth please, for the sake of all around you, keep him/her inside so that only you will have to deal with the barking. 

Your dog’s constant placement in your yard also presents other issues that are more serious than simple noise violations.  For instance, your dog’s safety is in jeopardy when he/she is outside, unattended for a long period of time.  Have you seen all of the fox that have sprouted up in the neighborhood?  Maybe not, but let me tell you there are plenty around and as far as I know fox are not vegetarians.  The more time spent outside by your bijon is only more opportunity for natural predators such as fox and birds of prey (hawks, eagles, falcons) to capitalize on a fresh meal.  With a larger breed like a German shepherd or a Labrador this would not be such a concern but your tiny bijon could easily fall prey to a vicious predator like a fox. 

The outside is an unsafe area for your bijon and also provides a far easier road to escape than the inside of your home.  I noticed you have two teenaged girls in your home; something that you are obviously well aware of.  One thing you may not be so aware of is that one consistently sneaks out of the house in the early hours of the morning to meet up with a gentleman caller.  I know this because I witnessed it a couple of times while sitting out on my front porch late into the night with some friends.  Anyway, what if your daughter were to leave the gate open and your dog were to run away?  This would be a very unfortunate loss for the whole family; losing an irreplaceable pet.  This possibility of escape is something that could once again be avoided if your dog were to remain inside the confines of your home. 

I don’t mean to be that bad guy here, and although I am looking out for my own concerns I am also keeping your dog’s safety in mind.  In case the aforementioned facts are new to you then I am happy to have enlightened you about some unknown happenings on your property.  For both your dog’s safety and your neighbors’ sanity please reconsider leaving your dog outside during times of day where people may be resting.  Some of the neighbors have younger children that need more sleep then the rest of us, and we would all hate to hear the barking of your dog joined by the crying of an infant.  And please do keep in mind that noise violations could warrant a phone call to the police, and none of us want the situation to reach that level.  Thank you.

Sincerely,

                Your Neighbor

Update: New Job Sucks, Life is Excellent

This morning on my usual 7am trek to Downingtown I realized something:  I really don't like my new job.  It's not that it's difficult or stressful, I just don't feel comfortable there.  I'm totally out of my element there plus it's not at all what I thought it would be.  The only time you make real money is the weekend and then there goes your weekend...fun.  I at least said I couldn't work Saturday and this coming weekend I'm working Friday, Saturday, Sunday.  You all who work in the restaurant industry are probably saying, 'yeah get used to it'.  Sorry, but I'd like to preserve my sanity.  No wonder why most people who work in restaurants chain smoke ciggs, you're all miserable with your jobs.  Oh well, in time I'll find a way to transition into something new.

It was a good morning though; I was happy with the path it took.  It was like I woke up feeling like crap because I dreamed about nothing but work so naturally I didn't sleep well.  I woke up feeling exhausted and wanted to just go back to bed, leaving my cooperating tutor to handle the tutoring session by herself.  So I toughed it out and got going for a 50 minute car ride of self-reflection and assessment (also listened to some decent morning radio shows).  At first I was just like 'Wow I hate my life,' and after I dismissed that conclusion it was more like ,'I really don't like my new job.'  I was happy that I could eliminate the super negative thinking of my whole life sucking just because I didn't sleep well and I haven't really developed positive feelings towards my new job.  It was a very level-headed way to work through an issue; not letting the feeling of a crappy night's sleep and a very dark and rainy morning ruin my day.

I think I'm just sick of working.  I want a break, and the ability to only have to focus on school.  I know plenty of people work and go to school simultaneously but I think I've reached my limit.  Especially because the money I make doesn't give me much financial freedom.  Yeah it puts gas in my car and allows me to buy food and the occasional CVS item (shampoo, soap, razors, etc.) but besides that I really don't have the ability to make any fun purchases.  This weekend I forced myself to buy protein and vitamins at GNC, justifying the purchase by claiming that the supplements will aid in my six-pack resolution.  I still felt guilty after I bought the supplements and I don't want to keep feeling guilty for making a sensible purchase of an item that I'm actually going to use.  Spring is right around the corner and I have no shorts and very few t-shirts that I would actually leave the house wearing.  I think I'll have to do the dreaded deed soon and ask my parents for money for clothes.  I shouldn't feel so guilty because I don't really ask them for anything, ever, so maybe they can throw me a couple hundred bucks to revamp my wardrobe.  I just can't wait to get my teaching job so that I'll only be focusing on that (as much as it may be).  Although I have a small fear that I'll have to pick up a second job; apparently a lot of teachers do.  I'll probably do the math and see how much a second job would pay in comparison to coaching or supervising a club.  Wow, time to slow down, totally not there yet.

It's funny, I'm complaining a lot, but I'm still happy with my life.  I guess that's when you know that you're doing well; things in life aren't going the way you want them and you're still holding your head up high.  I'm at a good place right now.  It's taken some work, getting over bad decisions of the past, and accepting the realities of my life, but I think I'm getting to the point that I want to be at (almost there, not quite).  Plus if you can hold your head up on a day like today then I'd say that's an achievement on its own.  It is gross outside, the prospect of running later does not look good, unless the rain definitely lets up.  I mean seriously who likes being cold and wet? Worst feeling ever, hands down.  In result i won't go running outside if it continues to rain being that it's not very warm outside.  Yeah yeah there are water resistant running clothes available everywhere but scroll back up to the paragraph where I talked about how I had no money and that will explain why I don't want any.  Wow I just feel the positive energy running through me, the eternal optimist in me is coming back.

I Feel like Death but Last Night was Fun

I've neglected to write something for the past couple of days; sorry to my readers.  I actually felt sick when I was thinking about it this morning.  That or because of the enormous amount of PBR that I drank yesterday.  I woke up this morning uttering the famous 'I'm never drinking again' line.  Last night was a good time though.  Partied with Jeff and then Nick Lachey aka Nikki stopped by with her boyfriend for some late night fun.  I'm pretty sure she took some videos of Jeff and I dancing around so it'll be interesting to see those come Tuesday morning in class.  I'm really glad that I'm feeling better now than I was this morning.  I thought I would have to call out of work today but luckily I can feel my condition improving.

So I really wanted to write a short story and put it up here; a narrative of sorts.  But lately I've just been drawing a blank.  That's probably also contributed to my lack of a post these past couple days but I really haven't come across any really good ideas.  I'll have to brainstorm at work tonight when I'm standing around during the calm points of the evening.  I hope they let me that serving soon, even if I got to start tonight I'd be very happy about it.  No worries all in good time.  I've been very thankful for the super nice weather these past couple of days.  Hopefully this means that winter is gone but who knows.  My hamper is filled to the top but I have no desire to do laundry right now.  Maybe I'll throw in a load before work and change it when I get home.  That seems like the sensible thing to do.  Bahhh why do I have nothing interesting to write about?  No poems, fiction, narratives, nothing.  Maybe this writing business isn't for me; I mean I want it to be but sometimes you can't force it if it's not meant to be.  Something that holds true in many circles of life including relationships.

Speaking of relationships-no I'm not in one-but I feel like I'm actually ready to try one out again.  Now I just need to fine a girl and you know how it goes.  My only concern is with my new mindset that I'll settle for the first lady who comes my way and might slightly be what I'm looking for.  Let us hope that I've learned from my past mistakes and that I'll make more intelligent choices with whatever ladies come into my life.  It feels good to get back to a point where you feel like yourself again when you're lost.  For a little while I thought that I was just meant to be an eternal bachelor and that I didn't want to meet someone but that was all just smoke and mirrors.  Who wants to be alone, honestly?  Maybe that will be the topic of my narrative; I guy getting into a relationship.  For some reason that movie 500 Days of Summer just popped into my head.  I'll have to brainstorm more and continue on my quest for better writing later.

A Couple of Possible Business Ventures

I don't feel like writing tonight, but today was an excellent day.  No real reason it was just a really nice day, nothing went terribly wrong and I started to break out of my funk which is a good thing.  I even drove 45 minutes to Downingtown this morning to find out that the teacher who I observe was out sick so my early wake up call and drive was for nothing.  At least until I realized I still had the secondary purpose of completing  a practice run from Downingtown to Kennet Square in preparation for next week when I will have two rounds of tutoring on Wednesdays.  It's going to be brutal but no worries, it'll only be for 5 or 6 weeks and then semester over.  I'll just have to make sure that I bring plenty of work with me to Kennet so that if no students come in for tutoring I will be able to stay productive.  This could be tough because I'll be tutoring with Britt, who has recently gone pro in distracting Jeff and I while we attempt to do work, but no worries because at least it'll be nice to have a friend there to kill time with. 

I went running again tonight and wow was I beat by the end of my run.  I'm so glad that I'm getting back into it but it's really kicking my butt; that's a good thing.  I never really ran or did intense cardio until last spring; funny how that's when I started seeing the quickest results from my workouts.  I was in the shower tonight and I had an epiphany about what I would do if I won the lottery.  I mean sure it would be nice to just sit back and kick it for the rest of my life, living off the interest of my investment portfolio, but after a round of traveling and cultural experiences I would probably grow bored and look for a new challenge.  I think I would open a gym/mixed martial arts studio in the area.  MMA is blowing up and I think it would attract a lot of young people who were interested in learning martial arts or just wanted to take out some aggression in a legal way.  I would design my gym to have real world object and exercises as opposed to all of the weight machines.  For instance my gym would feature climbing ropes, kettle bells, sand bags, gymnastic equipment like rings, tired with sledge hammers, ladders, resistance bands, and more.  Plus I wouldn't charge a ton, like $25/month for just gym usage and for MMA classes an additional $25/month.  I think that's pretty reasonable, and if possible I would have a basketball court and a pool but we would have to see if that was affordable.  My gym would be awesome and would be nice for the community.

I also often thought of opening a hookah bar (with alcohol) and a dance floor.  Kind of like half lounge half club atmosphere where if you wanted to come and relax you could but if you wanted to dance there would also be that option.  I'd have to find some way to separate the two; maybe a two floor place, but I think it would be really cool.  Imagine arriving and having a couple of drinks and some hookah downstairs and once you get all warmed up you head up to the dance floor for some more good times.  That's the type of place I would want to hang out at.  Wow why am I publicly posting these ideas without copy writing them I really should have thought about that before I started typing away here.  No worries, I don't have a huge cash influx or a business-savy mind as of yet but maybe in the future I can turn one of my dream ventures into a reality. 

Time to Break Out of My Funk

I feel like I've been really negative lately which completely contradicts one of my new years resolutions: eliminate negative thinking.  Ever since last Saturday I've just been in kind of a downer mood which was likely the cause of my headache from hell.  Maybe I'm subliminally worried about my Praxis score, almost like I'm feeling inadequate by my performance on the test and now I'm once again questioning my career choice of being a teacher.  Who knows but it's definitely time to bounce out of my funk.  At least I'm still working out, hopefully the endorphins will help to balance me out in the next couple of days.  I'm trying to think about what else is going on with me that might be of interest to the few and the proud still reading my words.  Today on my break I got so much work done, and I credit my productivity to my lack of facebook.  With no facebook I didn't procrastinate and waste time but instead I finished my reading for tomorrow's class and nearly finished my reading for Thursday's class while also helping a friend revise his assignment.  Another friend of mine found a pretty entertaining website titled http://www.lamebook.com/.  The site features lots of hilarious statuses, pictures, and updates that she found quite entertaining.  I even laughed at a few myself while I was attempting to get work done so if you're bored and looking for a laugh I definitely recommend it.

And now I'm stuck, nothing, just drawing a blank.  I had a mini battle earlier with adobe when I attempted to convert my NCAA bracket  to a pdf.  Didn't work out so well, so hopefully I'll be able to scan it in to a computer at school tomorrow so that I can email it to my dad.  He emailed me his so I was going to attempt to do the same.  If only I had a secretary with a scanner who could handle technological queries for me.  I really feel like I need to find a direction and just go with it.  This is turning into more of a journal about me then something that people could actually find useful.  I probably mentioned this before but I'm thinking of either going with a teacher blog, sports (which I try on my other blog but I feel like I should narrow it down to either philly sports or one specific sport), exercise, and yeah those are the topics I'm thinking about.  My friend showed me her boyfriend's website today and it blows the crap out of my blog.  Maybe I'll collaborate with a former co-worker sooner rather than later on a philly-centric blog idea.  He wants to cover music and the phillies while I agreed to cover the Sixers, Eagles, PSU football and possibly college basketball.  I think it would be fun, maybe we'll get that going.  We shall see, suggestions or comments are welcomed and desired.

Privacy and Headahces

I deactivated my facebook account.  I don't know why I just felt compelled.  Facebook just doesn't seem fun anymore and it seems like it gets your in more trouble than it's worth; exposing information that just shouldn't be out there for all to see.  Funny how I'm all of a sudden an advocate for privacy yet I blog about myself and my life every day.  Oh well, I never claim that what I write about is completely true and I usually refrain from using peoples names (especially my own).  Plus my name isn't attached here so I guess it isn't all that personal.  I'm surprised so many celebrities are so open about discussing their personal lives.  I recently read an interview with an actor, Alex Pettyfer, where he dodged a question about his rumored relationship by simply saying that he would not discuss his personal life.  So smart on his part, I mean seriously why does the general public need to know the intricate details about celebrities' lives.  Sure they should be obligated to talk about their professional lives, projects, achievements and accolades but don't they deserve privacy like the rest of us? I lose more respect for the Paparazzi every day; I mean do they have nothing better to do than follow celebrities around and take pictures of them.  Sure there are celebs who call ahead so that they are sure to have their pics in magazines and other publications, but those who don't welcome the harassment should be left alone because it is just that, harassment.   I still don't know how the actions of the paparazzi are legal but whatever, a small issue in the myriad of events going on in today's world.

I had a terrible headache that spanned a three day period.  I was praying that it would end today.  I actually wanted to do harm to another part of my body so that my nerves would focus on a pain besides my head.  For instance I was close to punching and immovable object with a lot of force so that my hand would hurt instead of my head.  Then I thought of how limiting a broken hand would be and I realized my logic as somewhat faulty.  So I went through my whole headache regimen, water, tylenol, and even caffeine which almost always ousts the headaches.  This one was tough and withstood all of my efforts.  It finally dissipated this afternoon but I'm still feeling some aftershock type headaches; like the pain comes and goes every now and then.    You know what the sad thing is about my whole headache fiasco though? I prayed for it to get better only so I wouldn't have to go the the doctor.  I avoid the doctor like the plague because of all of the stupid co-pays and post-pays.  It's like I go to the doctor and give them my insurance and then they take a co-pay ($15-30) and then a few months later I get a bill from them for like a hundred dollars.  So what exactly does the insurance pay for?  Health case blows; my solution is eating healthy, exercising, and attempting to sleep enough.  The last part doesn't really happen too often.  I blame my mattress, I can't wait until I have money where I can actually afford a high quality mattress.  In time I keep telling myself. 

Am I Really This Nit-Picky With Diction?

I watched The Expendables last night, and it was essentially what I expected.  Jason Statham was awesome, Stallone played his classic action-star self, and the rest of the guys provided some decent filler material.  I knew it would just be a shoot-em-up comedy laced with lots of good kills and explosions but with such a loaded cast a small part of me was hoping for a little bit more.  Oh well, still not a terrible movie.  Next on my Netflix cue I have Faster with Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson and Machete which features a mini gun attached to a motorcycle; both look pretty promising.  By the way I do enjoy other types of movies, dramas and comedies-documentaries not so much-but it just so happens that my cue is currently jam-packed with action movies.  Netflix has been awesome ever since I signed up again for my membership (cancelled last year or the year before).  I'm so happy because all of the problems that made me cancel have been corrected.  For instance, popular new movies always used to have a 'long wait' or 'very long wait' status attached to them which angered me because I mostly watch new releases.  Now that status is only there temporarily; making me believe that Netflix has icnreased their inventory.  I also used to have to wait a few days to get my movies but now it's so quick; I send a movie out Monday and I have a new movie by Wednesday. 


I love movies, who doesn't right? I also really like music but for some reason I don't illegally download it.  I'm probably in the small minority in that department but I just feel guilty pirating songs.  Some people think I'm crazy for still buying cds but the way I see it if I like a band and their music I want to support them by buying their records and attending their concerts.  I want my favorite bands to keep making music and the only way they will do that is by selling out shows and selling lots of records.  If you're thinking that records don't exist anymore I know that but I like saying records or albums as opposed to CDs because CDs are just the physical medium and do not represent the content featured.  It's like when I want to watch a movie I don't say I want to watch  a DVD because that's just the medium and doesn't represent the content.  You could have a blank CD or DVD that wouldn't be worth anything.  I also don't like saying 'I was hit in the stomach'.  The stomach is an internal organ and doesn't take up your whole mid-section.  I prefer abdomen or mid-section when referring to my lower torso.  Wow now I just sound like a total snob (I promise I'm not I think this is just the inner English teacher in me attempting to be correct with my diction).  Forgive me and please keep reading my blog. 

Bring Your Own Damn Pencil Next Time

So you were probably expecting some sort of literary brilliance after reading yesterday's post.  Sorry to disappoint but I'm pretty dry on interesting material right now.  Maybe it was my 6 am wake up or my restless sleep but I'm dragging right now.  I've probably got a rant or two in me.  How about I do that, discuss all of the things that got me mad today.

Started off when I went in to take the test this morning.  I came prepared, test ticket in hand and 3 sharpened pencils (legit pencils no mechanical pencils allowed).  So as I'm walking up a guy around my age asks me 'You taking the test'?
'Praxis 2,' I responded.  'Yeah me too,' he said.  'Wow you're all prepared with your pencils, got one for me'? he continued.  Needless to say I wasn't huge on the way he asked me, like we were pals and it was my responsibility to remember a pencil for him.  I was actually responsible enough to come prepared to a test that has a very significant role in my future career.  Whatever I'm a nice guy (fatal flaw) so I give the guy a pencil.  Now this pencil happens to have a swirly design on it with some purple; like I cared about the design when I grabbed it out of my mom's desk last night.  Then this tool bag replies 'Purple huh? nice pencil.'  I mean seriously are we in second grade here, are you-mystery test taker- so manly that you can't handle a purple writing utensil.  I almost asked for the pencil back and then I thought screw it; it's too early in the morning to get aggravated at a random d-bag. 

So I go into the building and get into the line for registration.  Halfway through the line was a pencil sharpener and a lady was sitting there sharpening pencils (she was a proctor so she had a whole bunch).  As I passed her I heard captain d-bag behind me ask her if he could borrow one of her pencils because he didn't have one.  At this point I really wanted to ask for my pencil back because it was a total waste for him to ask for mine-never said thanks by the way-and then not even use it because it had a purple swirly design on it.  Talk about insecure, this got me so mad.  I brought three pencils so that I would have enough for myself to make sure that I could finish my test.  This kid came unprepared, was rude, took one of mine, and then didn't give it back after he decided he couldn't handle purple.  If you're reading this thinking, 'Wow, relax, it's just a pencil,' you're probably right, and by tomorrow I'm sure I'll think nothing of it.  But at 7:30 am it just rubbed me the wrong way. 

Oh and by the way other things angered me today but I'll save those for next time.

This Post is Terrible Wait for Tomorrow's; it Will be Better

I'm so beat; gotta go to bed so I can wake up early and take a test yaaaaaaaaaay.  Not so much.  No worries, I know I'm gonna rock the thing, it's all about positivity.  So anyway work tonight was super busy, I finally know how it feels to work at a busy restaurant on a weekend night.  I was running all over the place it was nuts.  Good news though, the manager has seemed to notice my hard work and has rewarded me with training me as a server starting this Sunday.  I'm excited but all of my shirts are dirty so I'll have to do something about that (sure I could just do laundry but I like to get oxford shirts dry-cleaned, whatever).  For a moment I thought I was bad luck for the establishment because every night that I worked people told me how uncharacteristically slow it was.  I'm glad my presence didn't doom the restaurant. 


I totally wanted to get a lot done today but just didn't get around to it.  No worries because tomorrow since I'll already by awake and alert so early for my test (7:30 am, 2 hour test so I'll be out by 9:30 am) I'll probably be super productive.  I'll have to make a list so I get everything done.  Once I read some where that to do lists were a bad idea and that is such a load of crap.  To-do lists are the only reason why I ever accomplish anything productive.  I'm thinkin' haircut, bank, CVS, workout and run, schoolwork and then out tomorrow night.  Sounds productive, hopefully I'll stick with the plan.  Well this post is pretty lame so far.  How can I spruce it up? Oh, I'm excited because I may start playing pick-up basketball on Monday nights.  A friend who I hadn't spoken to in a while contacted me not long ago to ask if I wanted to start playing basketball on Monday nights.  I used to have work but now that I don't I should be able to play and I'm very excited about it.  Well that's about all I've got, probably because I'm super tired.  No real words of advice, universal truth, or moral lessons to learn from me today.  Only that positive thinking leads to good things so I'm going to go and be positive about my test for tomorrow because I probably should have studied more so I hope that I do well. 

It Would be Nice to Shop out of Boredom

I think I just ate too much, don't you hate that feeling.  It would be so nice if our bodies had a gauge that would just tell us when we consumed enough food to fill our bellies.  I'm sure I could have done without that slice of pecan pie but the stuff is just too delicious to resist.  Plus I ran again tonight so I feel alright about eating a little extra than normal.  Wow how I loathe cold weather running.  I can't wait until it gets warmer outside so that my lungs won't be burner when I take my weekly runs.  Of course my cold weather running query could be solved by a gym membership which would allow me to run inside on a treadmill avoiding all the cold weather bs.

Yesterday my whole desire to have a gym membership got me thinking.  My current income or lack there of has really limited what you could call 'extras' or unnecessary purchases in my life.  I don't really have the ability to spend any money on nice things for myself (unless you call coffee and gas nice things) and that list of things that I want just keeps piling up.  I kept thinking how summer's coming up and how I could use certain clothes, shoes, electronics, and miscellaneous accessories (arm band for my ipod).  So I compiled a list of things that I want and hopefully I can slowly remove things from the list.  Nothing too extravagant on there so hopefully in time when I begin to make some more money I can buy some of the items on my wish list. 

Working on the main line has exposed me to some of the individuals making up the upper echelon of society and it often gets me mad.  I can't imagine being at a point in my life where to fill boredom I could just go out and spend money.  Main liners just go around and drop hundreds on junk just to fill time.  It's crazy how to some people money is no object.  I hope that if I ever had so much money that I could just go out and shop out of boredom instead of necessity that I will have the sense to donate more of my money to a charity, knowing I don't actually need it.  That's what kills me about some of these professional athletes and celebrities who rave about the millions that they've lost through gambling (Charles Barkley and Michael Jordan).  How about take those millions and cut a check to a charity or start a foundation instead of making the owners in Vegas and AC even richer.  And people wonder why I want to be a teacher, maybe I don't ever want to be rich.  It seems like money just corrupts people and when you have so much, throwing money away on unnecessary purchases and through gambling is what happens when you're bored.  It's funny how most of the things on my want list are actually things I need, (new suit or tailor my old one, navy pants for work/school, new running shoes) but I still don't have the means of purchasing such items.  Oh well in time I hope that I'll at least be able to live comfortably, and that if I have an excess of cash that I will share it with those less fortunate than myself. 

Slow it Down Big Man

I went for a run tonight and wow it was brutal.  I don't know how far we ran (my buddy Steve and I) but we were moving at a very strenuous pace.  Steve really surprised me because being a smoker he really expected to struggle but he was moving very well.  We ran hard for probably around a mile but that cool end-of-winter/beginning-of-spring air filling my lungs didn't make it any easier.  I'm just glad that I finally got out and started running again.  Hopefully if I go three days a week coupled with my weekly lifting regimen I'll see the results that I want very soon. 

Besides that today was an excellent day.  I slept in and following a big breakfast I went out to meet my friend Devon in West Chester.  It's always nice to catch up with friends after not seeing them for a while.  After that I went to Starbucks to do my daily review for Saturday's exam.  I've been so thankful for all of the praise and encouragement from my family and friends for this exam.  I haven't been performing as well as I'd hoped with the practice questions, but I'm happy that I've stuck with the book.  It will be the first time in my life that I will have completed a prep book for a standardized test, as sad as that may be.  I've just always struggled with the tests, mostly because I either psyche myself out or rush through the questions.  All my energy makes me move through things quickly and often I rush when I should just slow down and take my time.  I do this everyday with things like shaving and eating.  If I were to slow down when I shave I'd probably cut my face less (something I've been doing lately that's been working), and if I were to eat slower I'd probably eat less and have fewer stomach aches.  Saturday I'll have to remember to read the questions slowly and fully so that I don't misunderstand them and then rush to mark down an incorrect answer. 

Tomorrow I'll take my first practice test (and possibly only practice test).  I hope it goes well; we shall see.  I'll have to look online to see if any free practice tests are offered but I doubt it.  Maybe I'll venture over to my old stomping ground (Borders) and just use one of the prep books there for its practice test.  Haha I'd totally be doing what so many people used to do and I couldn't stand it (coming and and reading the books and then not buying them).  Although I would purchase a beverage in the cafe making it not so bad.  I couldn't stand people who would come and take up seats at the cafe and not buy anything.  Even worse were those who would bring food from other places.  I mean seriously would you walk into a restaurant with food from somewhere else, sit down and eat? Of course you wouldn't unless you're a socially inept A-hole.  Same thing goes for a coffee shop, you don't walk into a Starbucks with a Wawa coffee in your hand, it's just wrong and insulting.  Wow, that felt nice. 

Lots of Reading Today

Didn't feel like working out tonight; don't know why I just didn't have it in me.  I did finish a book though, and did Praxis studying today.  I'd say it was quite an educational day.  I read Monster by Walter Dean Myers.  Excellent book, it was part of our literature circles in my one class but it was not the book that my group chose to read (Luna).  A friend of mine read it and highly recommended it to me and it didn't disappoint.  It's written in a very interesting format, as a movie script, and it goes by quickly which is nice.  I finished it in a little under two hours and I don't read very quickly so for a quick reader it would only take an hour to an hour and a half of your time so I highly recommend it.  The public library didn't have any books by Hunter S. Thompson, and author recommended to me by another friend.  I may just have to go and buy some of his books at Borders using those oh so convenient 40% off coupons. 

Tonight was also nice because my sister came by for dinner.  Family dinners are so underrated and so necessary for preserving the integrity of a family environment.  It was nice to have one and I recommend that people try to do them more often if they don't fit into your usual weekly schedule.  I've been flying through my Praxis studying so hopefully I'll finish the book tomorrow or the next day and then take a couple of Praxis tests leading up to Saturday.  Right now a friend of mine is in Key West and posting lots of pictures on her blog http://climbingothertrees.blogspot.com/.  She always plugs my blog in hers so here's me returning the favor.  It makes me feel so nostalgic to see all of the places that I visited nearly 9 years ago.  Hands down one of the best vacations ever I love the Keys.  I may have to follow one of my favorite writer's footsteps (Hemingway) and move down there after I'm finished school.  Or at least to a part of Florida that is close enough to the Keys for a manageable drive on the weekends.  Lately I've really been feeling a relocation after I finish school; I just feel less and less connected to this area.  There are a few special people keeping me here but if it wasn't for them I'd seriously be considering my relocation options.  Right now Vermont, Florida Keys, and the Pacific Northwest are all looking like very fine candidates.  Hopefully I'll win Powerball and then I can do spring and summer up here and spend winters in the Keys.  One can only hope but for now I just need to finish school and start making some money until I can plan my next move.  That or find myself a lovely,wealthy woman to marry but I think I've got a better shot at Powerball. 

Praxis Studying Has Commenced

For the past two days I've been quite proud of myself; venturing out to Starbucks in preparation for my impending praxis exam 6 days from today.  I've been working my way through the exercise book and moving at a pretty solid pace so far.  The book is about 230 pages and I'm already through 100 with 6 days to go so I'm feeling very good about my preparation so far.  I must say I've never studied or had the motivation to study so hard for a standardized test.  Maybe it's because with this test I'm actually passionate about my impending career so I'm taking my certification exam seriously.  Either way I'm glad that I have this week off from school to study and that I've found that motivation to study.  My current study and work habits also make me feel good about my future career as an English teacher.  Sometimes when school is difficult or I think about the negative aspects of teaching (dealing with parents, salary limitations, tough kids) I doubt if teaching is for me and I need to bring myself back to reality.  The fact that I'm hunkering down over Spring Break and studying is a good sign that I'm really committed to this career path; hopefully that will hold true. 

You know it's funny when people ask me what I'm going to school for and I say I'm going to be an English teacher I get mixed reviews but overall people give the generic 'Oh that's good/nice.'  Sometimes I respond with 'Yeah it works for now', only because I've had many different career aspirations up until this point.  I began undecided, then thought about journalism, then law enforcement (FBI, DEA, etc.), followed by a career in psychology, then contemplated law school, and here I am.  You could easily say it's been a whirlwind career path so far and I just hope that it's nearly at an end.  Who knows what the future hold but at least come December I'll have a marketable education and certification that will at least provide a steady paycheck, job security, and some nice benefits and pension options.  The nice thing for me is that I know I could be happy doing a number of different things with my life.  I don't think people have just one clear cut path and for me teaching is just one of the directions that I could take in order to live a happy and fulfilling life.  Who knows how long my teaching journey will go but at least I know that I'll enjoy the ride. 

On Wednesday God had my Back

And I missed another day, oh well I'll just have to write something extra special.  Funny because I don't feel like writing anything at all.  I'm kind of wiped out and ready for bed although I'm very happy that I am completely caught up with Weeds; finished the sixth season tonight.  Started off poorly but ended very well; I was quite satisfied with it.  And may I just say that Netflix has really been on their game lately.  I sent out disc 2 on Wednesday and Disc 3 arrived today, money.  You can say I'm definitely taking advantage of my membership this go around.  I may not have a lot of money to my name but I've just got to have the ability to watch movies at my fingertips so ten dollars a month doesn't seem like much. 

Today was my last day at Borders and to be honest I'm feeling kind of indifferent.  Part of my is slightly (and I mean so very slightly) sad to say goodbye to that place and my coworkers but then another part of me says good riddance.  Sure it was any easy job with great people but minimum wage just isn't cutting it anymore so at least now I have the freedom to search elsewhere for greater financial possibilities.  We'll see if my new job will yield such fruits but for now as an eight ball would say: outlook not good.  A lot of people left classy cards or bought pastries for the staff when they left.  I didn't do such a thing and I feel kind of bad about it, but I'm broke and I'll make sure to keep in touch with the people who matter to me. 

Spring break is finally upon me and that makes me very happy.  Sure my days will be filled with Praxis studying and other fun academic activities but at least I don't have to concern myself with schoolwork and tutoring for a whole week.  Plus I really need the studying time so this break is such a blessing.  I really lucked out that spring break happened to be a week before this test.  If that wasn't the case I would certainly not pass so thank you god for having my back on that.  The big guy was totally watching out for me this week.  Like on Wednesday when I had so much reading and did less then half of it basically expecting to fail the reading quiz.  I guessed on most of the answers and got 100% correct.  That never happens to me; I am self-admitted the worst guesser ever.  Process of elimination, true/false, doesn't matter; if there is a possible wrong answer in the bank I will choose it.  Wednesday was tough because I was drained all day and had a headache, but by the time class rolled around the headache was gone and I felt great about my quiz grade.  Plus we got out of class early.  All around it just felt like that day the guy (or girl, or non-gendered supreme being) upstairs had my back, and I  greatly appreciated it.  Sometimes we all need a little pick me up and on Wednesday I needed mine.  probably should have wrote this on Wednesday but sometimes it takes a couple days of reflection to realize how special something was. 

This day over yet?

Right now I should be trying to cram in my ENG 615 readings but I just can't do it.  I'm fighting a monster headache plus exhaustion right now.  I don't want to get a giant coffee before class but I fear that I won't make it through class if I don't.  It's so tough to judge to comfortable medium between the alert feeling that coffee brings and the possible heart palpitations that could also result.  I really just want to cut class tonight, fall into bed and pass out.  Too bad she gives reading quizzes and I have to come up with a research proposal for next week and I'm drawing a major blank right now so naturally I need to talk to her.  Just a disclosure: If this post is incoherent forgive me I can barely see the words on the screen.  In a minute or two I will go shower and then eat some food in an attempt to jump start my body.  This reminds me of last semester when I would consistently feel like I was going to pass out while driving to class. 

Spring break can't come soon enough.  I want a break from this crap.  Although it won't be a huge break because I'll have to do my praxis studying but whatever at least I won't have to drive to West Chester and Downingtown for a week which will be nice.  That'll save me some money which I really need to do right now.  My printer cartridge is fading on me and it'll probably be mad expensive because it's a laser printer.  I'm predicting somewhere around $100, something I don't have right now.  Can you tell I'm in a funky mood today? Yeah not a good day, can't wait to go to bed and put this one in the books.  I just want tonight to fly by, just coast through class then come home and crawl into bed.  Of course it probably won't, and on a day like today that super annoying kid in my class (initials CM) will probably be extra annoying and not funny.  How many bad jokes do you need to tell with no laughter before you realize that you're just not funny? Quit trying to be the comic relief, it's not working.  Ever notice how in every single class you have there's always that super annoying person? It's like the University makes sure to put one d-bag in every class just to annoy everyone else.  They're always loud, annoying, make stupid comments, and generally just make you cringe every time you speak.  My other two classes which basically feature all of the same people feature two super annoying people.  I've just made it a habit to mock them on a regular basis, it's a coping mechanism.  Wow perfect timing, one of my favorite senses fail song just came on my Pandora station.  On days like today you just need some angry F-You music.  I'll have to ipod it up on the way to school and put on some Korn or something.  No worries tomorrow will be a new day. 

Spring break needs to begin now

Way too much reading for school this week, not cool teachers.  I guess it's their responsibility to load us up with reading before spring break but come on.  If you assign 150 pages of dense articles and text do you actually expect your students to do that reading (especially when most people take multiple courses)? I wouldn't.  Whatever I'll just do what I can and whatever I don't finish will have to remain unread, shame.  I'm having this realization as I'm sitting in the library with my friends waiting for my evening class to be here while listening to my Senses Fail station on Pandora.  I'm so tired today for some reason, oh well soon the day will be over.  Yeah that's a lie, three hours of class left plus I still need to work out tonight.  Maybe I'll go for a run.  I really need to buy an armband for my ipod so I can start running with music.  Last year I never ran with music and everyone thought I was insane.  I think I'm going to start listening to music when I run solo but when I have a buddy I'll go without because that would be rude.  It would be like saying 'Hey f-you because whatever you could possibly have to say during this cardio sesh couldn't possibly be as important as the next artist that's coming up on my shuffle or premeditated running mix."  Running with a partner is nice, as is working out with one; it's just so hard to coordinate schedules with others if both people don't work 9-5 m-f schedules (or really any schedules that are virtually the same. 

I had such a nice spread of food today and it's almost all gone.  I already inhaled the hard-boiled eggs, peanut butter granola bar, and the chips from Trader Joe's.  So for the next 4 hours I'll have carrot sticks and a banana to hold me over, this should be fun.  I wish there was a microwave available for student use somewhere.  That way I could bring more left overs and cuisine style foods with me.  I must say I favor the cuisines over snacks and desserts.  Who am I kidding I love all food I just usually prefer a large meal to some small snacks or sweets.  I hope this weather keeps up, today I can deal with just fine.  Track jacket weather is tolerable.  This morning I had to step out quickly and I just threw on flip flops; kind of a gamble but hey I guess today I was living dangerously.  It felt nice to don the flip flops although I could use a new pair.  Hopefully my new job will provide the extra income necessary for such unnecessary purchases of vanity.  Besides flip flops I'm trying to buy a couple of pairs of shorts, shoes (chucks or boat shoes), and some more light button downs for the summer.  We'll see if that's gonna happen; I may just need to make my current wardrobe work. 

Class was interesting today (brilliant transition I know, you don't need to praise me).  I made a really stupid comment when I participated and it's probably going to stick with me.  It was totally one of those you had to be there comments so I'll refrain from explaining it.  Then Nicki's arch nemesis wouldn't stop staring at me for some reason.  Maybe she caught onto the fact that we all think she's super annoying and that I have developed quite an imitation of her.  It scares me that she'll one day be in charge of a classroom.  Hopefully she won't be teaching my children when I decide it's time to have some (20-30 yrs from now).  Lots of funny moments today in a class during which I felt completely out of it.  I probably appeared catatonic; I don't know what it was I was just completely removed, disinterested, and exhausted in class today.  Maybe my mind is subliminally already on spring break.  two more days and then a week off from school, hooray.  Of course I'll be prepping for the Praxis but whatever I need the study time.  I need my energy back today.  Hopefully it'll make an appearance in a second win come class this evening.