Ridiculous Remakes

I've recently seen trailers for two remakes or movies that were released in my lifetime, and let me tell you, neither of them movies should have been remade for two different reasons.  Let's begin with the Total Recall remake starring Colin Farrell.  This remake angers me because the first version Total Recall (1990) starred Arnold Schwarzenegger in his glory days as Hollywood's king of action movies.  The original movie is filled with plenty of classic Arnold lines like "I've never been to Mars!" and plenty of classic Arnold grunting.  I'll never forget the first time I saw the scene with the prostitute who had three boobs.  As a little kid you don't see many boobs at all and when you see three at a time, let me tell you that blew my mind.  The original Total Recall is still one of the classic Arnold action movies, and any attempt at a remake is simply an insult to Arnold's legacy.  View the trailer below:

The second remake that has me fuming is titled Dredd, and is a remake on the 1995 movie Judge Dredd starring Sylvester Stallone.  Haven't heard of it? I'm not surprised.  For those of you who do remember that travesty of a movie, you may also remember that it received the Razzie Award for Worst Movie of the Year.  No joke.  This movie was absolutely horrendous.  The plot, acting,  action, and costumes were all terrible and it would do the film industry justice to just destroy all memory and record of this film.  But no, we're talking about Hollywood here, where some big time studio exec has the crazy idea that he/she could take this terrible movie and remake it into movie gold.  Why even try? Have the script writers become some bad and have they run out of any original ideas for action movies that they must now revert to remaking one of the worst action movies of all time? I'm in complete shock an awe that any studio executive would green light this remake.  Oh, and by the way, the remake looks terrible too.  If choosing to remake terrible movies is all the skill needed to be a studio executive in Hollywood then anyone could do that job.  Still fuming over this one; I hope it crashes and burns in the box office. 

Ventilation

I used to think that I just wanted enough money so that I could sit around and do nothing all day.  I have since realized that doing nothing is quite boring.  After a while I get super antsy and self-conscious about being so unproductive.  It's not so bad; I accomplish at least one productive thing a day (Exercise, cooking, running errands, cleaning, etc.), but I still don't have a summer job and it's getting to me.  I'm glad that I've matured to the point that I'm actually motivated and willing to work full-time, and it's pretty discouraging when I can't find a job that would best suit my talents and qualifications.  Hopefully a good job is on the horizon (interview yesterday and I have a "screening" tomorrow for a different job) because I'm getting sick of sitting around the house.  This seems like a good thing, the fact that I don't like stagnation that is.  Hopefully this means that I'll always be looking for the next challenge in life.  I like to think that's how I live my life, but in periods such as this one where I'm just sitting around the idea of striving for great things seems so distant.  On a positive note, since I'm not working I have plenty of time to watch UEFA and the NBA finals which is nice (And there I go, always putting a positive spin on things).  I just felt like letting you in for a second, and I hope that wasn't too much.  Everyone needs to vent every once in a while. 

Start Watching VEEP Now!

The HBO show VEEP had been recommended to me by a friend and commenter on this blog (thank you JS), and I'm happy to say that I finally got around to checking it out.  The show is hilarious and witty, while also trying to uphold a mild sense of an actual insiders view into the politics of DC.  Of course, I have no idea what it's like to work in politics, but I wouldn't be surprised if the show isn't that far off from how things actually go.  I think it's hilarious how whenever you see politicians on TV they always look squeaky clean, and they always have the exact right thing to say.  Come on, nobody is that smooth unless they already have their responses planned out ahead of time to previously approved questions.  In reality, we have to know that politicians are real people too who drink, curse, and do anything that people wouldn't consider "kosher" behind the scenes.  Honestly, politicians are probably some of the biggest a-holes out there, because let's be honest, a-holes get what they want.  I have a weird sense of humor, and I don't always agree with my peers humorous choices, but I cannot stop laughing when I watch this show.  I highly recommend it.  It's available on HBO on demand now.  If you, like me, are currently unemployed then you have no excuse not to watch the full season in the span of two days; something that I plan on doing.

Chronicle

I'm not usually a special effects guy, but the effects in Chronicle were excellent.  Just to give you a quick rundown, Chronicle is a movie that follows the adventures of three high school seniors who mysteriously stumble into telekinetic powers aka being able to move things with their minds.  Every little boys dream right? Lifting up skirts, messing with people, and oh yeah...how about flying? Sounds like a ton of fun until one person takes it a step too far and all hell breaks loose.  Honestly, the acting is mediocre and the plot is simple, but if you're looking for a short (1 hr. 18 mins) and fun thrill ride that makes you say I want to F-ing do that, then watch Chronicle.  Seriously great effects and cool stuff to see on screen.  Here's the trailer:

Mid-Year Resolutions

This past turn of the year I didn't establish ironclad New Year's resolutions mostly because they would have been very similar to my resolutions from the past two years: stay positive, get in great shape, be respectful to everyone. I couldn't think of anything new so I just kept things the same.  I've finally come up with some new, and pretty simple resolutions for the rest of the year.

Resolution 1: Stop cursing so much.  I've been cursing a lot lately, and I mean a lot.  I just get out of bed or open the car door and for no particular reason at all I just drop an f-bomb, almost because I can.  It's weird, because when I'm teaching I'm fine, but for some reason I've been cursing a lot in my home life.  It's just something that I'd like to change because it's not exactly classy and doesn't reflect well on an educator of young people.  Plus, as a writer and teacher of English I should have an advanced enough vocabulary that I don't have to resort to four letter profanities.  This one has been tougher than I imagined, but it's a work in progress.

Resolution 2: Remember people's named when they introduce themselves.  I am absolutely horrible at this, especially when I go into schools to sub.  So many nice people introduce themselves, and I always immediately forget their names.  One thing I want to start is repeating people's names after they tell them to me.  I think that way I may have an easier time remembering people's names because I'm terrible at this, and I feel even worse when they remember my name and I forget theirs.   Plus, this is super important in job interviews and in future professional settings, so I'll have to put some more effort into this one.

Resolution 3: Eye contact.  I find that I often don't use enough eye contact when I'm speaking to people and this can be construed as disrespectful.  I don't know what it is, but if I'm looking into someone's eyes for long enough I just find it gets awkward and I have to look away.  After a while I realize that I haven't re-established eye contact and then I feel like an idiot.  I think that I just need to get over my feeling that prolonged eye contact is awkward, especially in professional settings, because in this country it's actually considered respectful. 

It seems that all of my resolutions somewhat relate to being a professional.  Maybe that's what this is about.  Maybe I'm subconsciously paranoid about future interviews, and I want to make sure that I'm at the top of my game for the time that they come along.  Who knows, but in any case I think they're solid and achievable mid-year resolutions.  Only issue us that I only have half a year to achieve them, but no worries.  Well that was a change of pace from my usual reviews, thoughts?

The Ex-Boyfriend's Handbook

I recently finished a book by Matt Dunn titled  The Ex-Boyfriend's Handbook: Eddie will do whatever it takes to become her Mr. Right.  Kind of a long and obnoxious title, but it's an absolutely hilarious, insightful, and surprisingly real book. I picked this book up on a whim while I cruised through the library a couple of weeks ago.  I've been knocking out about two books a week lately to the point that my brain is pretty fried from reading.  I've taken a break these past couple of days, but I'm planning on returning to form today.  Anyway, as I perused through the fiction section this yellow book with an interesting title stuck out to me.  By reading this title you're probably thinking how sad it is that in my long slump of singleness I've consulted a self-help book for relationships, but I assure you that is not the case.  I picked up the book and flipped through the first couple of pages, and it hooked me right away.

The story takes places in Brighton, which to my knowledge is either a suburb or section of London, yes? Pause for internet research...Nope I was wrong, it's a small and cute-looking coastal town in East Sussex, Great Britain.  So the story begins with Edward arriving at home to realize that nearly all of his furniture and his live in girlfriend are gone.  To clarify any confusion, Edward's girlfriend Jane wrote him a note to assure him that he had not been robbed but that she left him.  Edward immediately confides in his good friend Dan, who helps Edward conclude that Jane likely left him due to  his weight gain, his lack of career advancement, and an overall lack of care for himself.  Basically over the ten year relationship Edward let himself go.  Once he realizes what he did wrong, Edward vows to make significant changes in his life in an attempt to win Jane back.

Phase one of Edward's plan is to get back in shape, so he hires an attractive female trainer named Sam who pushes him to his physical and mental limits.  Not only does Sam help Edward get into shape, but she also provides insight to help him better himself, in order to appear more attractive to Jane.  In addition to exercise Edward begins to make other changes with his wardrobe, appearance, and car, in an effort to completely bounce out of the stagnant life that he had fallen into.  As the story progresses as does Edward towards his final goal of completely changing his appearance and attitude towards life, and he begins to make strides in all phases of his life.  Not only is this book inspirational, relateable, and realistic, but it's extremely funny, and Matt Dunn does a great job of writing in characters that both compliment and challenge Edward.  I'd highly recommend this book to anyone who's looking for a change-of-pace read.  I was really blown away by how much I liked this book, especially since I just picked it up on a whim on day in the library.  This book may be hard to come by in the US, but I plan on purchasing a copy from Amazon.com sometime soon, and if you know me and want to borrow it I'd be happy to lend it out.  Here's a link to Matt Dunn's website which lists all of his works.  Enjoy:  http://www.mattdunn.co.uk/.

The Descendants

I'd wanted to see this movie for a while by the time I got around to watching it.  There were plenty of nights where I could have on-demanded the movie, but instead I settled for waiting patiently until it made its way up my Netflix Queue.  I must say, sad F-ing movie.  So sad to the point that I wondered why they even bothered making it.  Clooney's great, and I'll give my full attention to any movie with him in it, but this one was just so depressing.  Unless you legitimately enjoy super sad movies I wouldn't recommend this one.  Besides the sadness and the Cloonster there wasn't much else to take away.  One cool thing about the movie is that it gives you an alternative view of life in Hawaii.  The tragedy at least lets you see that horrible things can even happen in paradise.

Maybe this movie raises the bigger question of the overall point of sad movies.  Are they meant to make us appreciate what we have? Or are they meant to knock us out of our everyday stupor that is life to bring us back down to earth and realize our impending mortality and the fact that horrible things are happening in the world every day? I'd rather just remain in the stupor and think about happy stuff, but hey that's just me.  I'll deal with my own tragedies when they come my way, and I'll avoid the fictional ones at all costs.  In short, sad movies aren't for me.  Chime in, here's a trailer for the movie that I recommend you shouldn't go see.

Finished A song of Ice and Fire...Disappointed Much?

Please don't read into my title too much, and don't take it as sarcasm.  Last week I finished the Sci-Fi Fantasy series A Song of Ice and Fire (Better known as the Game of Thrones books).  Each of these books is at least 900 pages, and I'm not a quick reader so it was quite a laborious task.  After finishing the marathon that was reading those books I sat dumbfounded and annoyed with the amount of cliffhangers and unanswered questions.

My biggest issue with the series is simply that the author, George R.R Martin introduces too many new characters and story lines in each new book to the point that it's nearly impossible to bring the story to the end.  Is that the point? That the Game of Thrones never ends? I guess that's a possibility, and a logical one at that.  As long as there's a throne it seems that different factions would be fighting for control over it, yet that doesn't solve my query of wanting answers.  Is it so much to ask that one character wins out and just destroys everyone else, while at the same time winning over the love of Westeros.  I mean come on, it was all perfectly set up for Danaerys to sail back with her dragons and kick ass.  But no, we just have to throw all of these curve balls, suitors, and would be kings into the mix.  I don't like it, not one bit.  Hopefully you can sense my anger and frustration through my passionless writing.