Family Dinners Can Trump a Restaurant Outing

Last Saturday I assisted in cooking a 'family dinner' with some friends on New Year's day.  Together we made a Caesar salad with garlic bread, spaghetti in gravy (yes it was real Italian gravy), and Chicken Parmesan.  The meal fed seven people and only cost a grand total of $46 dollars.  That's pretty impressive when you think about what it would cost seven people to have a nice and filling dinner out plus drinks.  You're getting into the $125-$150 range for that type of eating, but we were able to enjoy delicious and filling food without having to go out.  Plus we were able to save on drinks, one of the most marked up items in the consumer market.  Consider this, a glass of wine at a restaurant usually costs around $6 while a 1.5 L bottle of a typical house wine usually runs around $13.  Such a bottle usually contains about 8-10 glasses of wine.  As you can see that's quite a mark up, and shows how enjoying a meal at home can be a big money saver. 

Not only are home-cooked dinners more cost effective but they are usually healthier than meals cooked at restaurants.  All of the ingredients that we used were fresh, and because we cooked the meal ourselves we knew exactly what we were eating.  Restaurants often use heavy doses of butters, oils, and fats to give their foods taste plus high levels of sodium and other preservatives.  By cooking out meal at home we knew that is was both inexpensive and healthy for the most part.

Another positive aspect of cooking group dinners at home is the satisfaction that results from laboring over such a meal.  It felt great to look at the food spread out on the table knowing that I helped to prepare such a feast.  Accomplishments like this really make you feel like you did a nice thing, especially when everyone at the table really enjoys the food.  It feels great not only to accomplish something for yourself, but also knowing that you're hard work provided an enjoyable experience for others.

Now I'm not saying that people should never go out to eat but maybe consider hosting a dinner party or having friends over for dinner next time you think about meeting out at a restaurant.  Sure on special occasions it's nice to skip the effort or preparation and the clean up required by a nice meal, but it can also be very rewarding to have friends and family over for a home-cooked meal.  The home should be a place of happiness and security, and provides an atmosphere of privacy for yourself and your loved ones.  Consider a group dinner at home next time you want to share a meal with friends because it's more affordable, healthier, and can give one a greater feeling of satisfaction.

Soft spoken people

Working in a service industry, specifically food service, I talk to customers on a daily basis.  For some reason I feel that people are way more soft spoken than they used to be.  Like someone will be practically whispering their order to me.  Do they actually think I can hear them when their volume is turned all the way down to 1? I mean seriously what gives, I feel like people didn't used to be so quiet.  Either people are growing quieter or my hearing is crapping out on me after 24 years of abuse.  Either way I feel like many people are very soft spoken these days and I even noticed it when I was out and about today.  I went to go get my fingerprinting done for my education clearances and the guy doing it was so quiet.  When he came out and read the names off I barely heard him, but luckily the people next to me got up so I knew he was reading off our names.  Then when we were in there he was practically mumbling the instructions to us and didn't really say anything else.  No 'Hi, How are you today'? just a blank stare.  That's another thing I feel like those same people who speak in whispers also don't make simple conversation.  For instance if I ask you how you're doing is it so difficult to say 'fine thanks' or even a simple 'hi'.  So often I greet people and I get nothing back; hey people guess what? that's just rude. 

I fear that many people in today's society have become soft spoken, and I can't figure out the cause of it (maybe everyone's on drugs?).  I wonder how such people would perform in a job interview or in any type of professional setting that requires human contact.  My guess is not very well.  And what about on  a date, if such people even date or a social situation with friends.  Have you ever heard the saying quiet people have the most fun?  I haven't.  The lesson that these mumblers and mimes have taught me is simple.  When somebody is speaking to you try to respond at a level that is audible and in a way that is understandable (no mumbling, proper enunciation).  Eye contact and an assertive attitude can go a long way, especially in a setting such as a job interview or a work meeting.  Don't be afraid to speak up and speak loudly because chances are you probably have something useful to say as long as you think first and it's respectful.  So often it's not the words we say but how we say such words, so don't be soft spoken because it probably won't get you anywhere. 

Ladies please be honest when us guys come calling

It may just be me but I feel like many ladies, often in an attempt to be nice, won't instantly shoot down a guy that they are not interested in .  This is a message to all people who are being pursued by somebody who they are not interested in: be honest, tell them you're not interested and do so as soon as possible.  That way you can spare yourself the future awkwardness of cooking up excuses why you don't want to hang out, and the interested party can move on to somebody else who they may actually connect with.  If you're trying to be nice than you're actually accomplishing the opposite, by allowing the interested person to hope that at some point things will change and you will actually want to date them.  You see this type of thing happening all the time. 

For example, we've all seen that guy at the bar who sees the pretty girl and decides to buy her drinks all night.  And then by the end of the night she thanks him and leaves.  Thanks a lot lady, you just wasted that guys time and money.  Sure he was an idiot for not catching on after the first 15 minutes that you weren't interested but should that mean that he should receive a big time burn both to his ego and wallet?  Instead just let him down easy when he approaches, something along the lines of thank you for the drink, I'm flattered but not interested. 

We've all probably had similar experiences at work or at school with people we have pursued.  They commonly make up excuses about being busy, sick, or unavailable, yet they continue to pretend like they want to get together.  Us humans are emotional creatures, sure, but I think as adults we can all handle a little bit of rejection, especially if it comes sooner rather than later.  Honesty can go a long way and can save people a lot of trouble.  So if you find yourself in the position of being pursued by someone that you have no interest in just be honest and move on.  If they pursue further raise your voice, and if they continue, well that's why we have pepper spray and stun guns. 

Stick to your New Year's Resolutions

Did you make a New Year's Resolution this year? How about last year and the year before? I know I did, only last year was the first year I ever followed through on a New Year's resolution, actually five of them to be exact.  I won't go into details as some of them were somewhat personal but most notably was my commitment to fitness and dieting; which yielded me results that I had never seen before.  This year I have started out with three New Year's Resolutions.  In no particular order regarding importance they are: get a six pack (abdominal muscles not beer), write something every day, and eliminate negative thinking.  If you're laughing right now go ahead; take a second and enjoy it.  It is a little funny that one of my New Year's resolutions is a six pack, but hey if I'm working out hard and eating well don't I deserve some results to show for it? I think so and I also find that when you make specific fitness goals you have something to strive for, not just general fitness and exercise.  This goal will push me to continue my work outs even when I'm tired or discouraged.  I will no that all of my time and effort will pay off in regards to my health, fitness level, and physical appearance. 

My second resolution of writing everyday mainly has to do with this blog.  I find that the only way I am going to improve myself as a writer will be to write as much as possible.  This blog is for me to share things about myself and things that I have learned with whoever chooses to read it.   When I eventually begin writing novels I will be writing them for me, about what I choose to write about regardless of their marketability.  If they can sell that would be wonderful, and if not than at least I'll know that I did something for me, that gave me joy and fulfillment. 

The last resolution that I mentioned of expelling negative thinking is a general trend in my life that I would like to eliminate.  Thinking negatively only hurts one's progress, creativity, and happiness.  Nobody accomplished great things without thinking that they could do so, and if I want to do great things in my life I must begin with a positive attitude towards my endeavors.  For instance, Marconi didn't invent the radio by thinking that he couldn't do it, he worked his butt off until he built one of the most monumental technological achievements of his time.  People accomplish amazing feats by believing in themselves and working hard towards their goals.  I want to be happy and successful moving forward in life, and I feel that positive thinking is the first step towards both. 

So enough about me and my resolutions, if you're still reading this take time to reflect on your own New Year's resolution(s) of the past and present.  Think about resolutions that you've made and followed through on or maybe resolutions that you've made and forgot about.  Now think about what you want to accomplish this coming year.  If you already have goals in mind then great job, and if not no worries.  It's never too late to make a goal or resolution, but having no goals will likely lead to little progress and growth with your life.  It's important for all of us to make goals in order to better ourselves and those around us.  Nobody's perfect and we can always work on ourselves to be the best possible people that we can be. 

Why not wait?

The previous post was greatly influenced by a current trend that I have noticed involving young people around me getting married.  When I say young people I mean under 30, but in my recent observations under 25.  I hear about more and more people my age, engaged, married, or with children (pregnant or already have them).  What's the rush? I mean really why get engaged or married when you're so young and have barely experienced the different things that life has to offer? At this age we are allotted the ultimate freedom to stay out late, party, and have a good time.  When we're young we can just pick up and leave, try something new, or travel to a new place whenever because we have no familial obligations.  I know this is quite general as some people may be limited by other circumstances (physical or emotional disabilities, maybe you have to care for a sick family member), but when such limitations aren't in place, why limit yourself by getting settling down so young?

Instead why not take the time to save money, secure a career that suits you and build a foundation there, possibly buy a home, and most importantly take as much time as possible to alleviate any doubts that the partner you have chosen is indeed right for you.  Personally I don't understand people who rush into a small wedding, skipping on nice things that they could not afford, and then moving into a small one bedroom apartment because the newly married couple has no money.  Just a side note I think that military marriages are the exception as that lifestyle usually requires a young marriage to insure that the serviceman/woman's family is cared for by government benefits.  Besides that situation, I do not understand why people rush into weddings at such a young age.  Even with shotgun weddings, if people marry because the woman is pregnant for religious reasons, didn't she already sin by conceiving out of wedlock?

Overall I'm just concerned that many young people are not taking the institution of marriage seriously, and are not taking a significant amount of time to make the right decision.  Just because you are with somebody for 'x' amount of years does not mean that you are contractually obligated to marry the person.  Also, a strong physical connection on its own does not predict a successful marriage; an aspect that many seem to focus on.  Sure the physical connection is crucial, but once it dies out there must be a deep emotional connection to support a lifelong partnership.  If more people were to take their time and save up money, mature, and get to know their partners more, I believe that less people would get divorced, and more people would be happy with their relationship status.  I really hope that my observations do not reflect a general trend of individuals downplaying the institution of marriage and the importance of taking the time to make the right decision.  By all means if you want to have a cheap and small wedding and then move into a tiny apartment when you're young because you have no money then go for it; that just won't be me. 

The most important decision in life

This is quite a debated topic in today's society and welcomes a number of logical answers.  Some people believe that choosing the right University or College is the most important decision in one's life while others believe that career choice is most important.  Money after all is what fuels us and allows us to consume goods and maintain ourselves in modern society.  Although career choice, education choice, and income are all very crucial to living a comfortable life these all fall short of what is truly the most important decision in life. 

One's choice of a spouse supersedes all other decisions in life.  The right spouse is a blessing; an individual who is both a lover and a best friend.  A suitable life partner provides a foundation of happiness and love, the two most important aspects of life and human emotion.  I find it hard to believe that an individual could live a truly full and happy life without the right life partner (with the exception of Hugh Hefner and other rich man whores whose physical fulfillment likely trumps and emotional void).  Money troubles are stressful, and sometimes we may regret missed opportunities with different careers, yet true happiness and love rest at home with those who we hold dearest, and that all begins with the immediate family.

To illustrate the consequences of choosing the wrong partner, here are some possible scenarios of what a mismatch could result in.  Both parties will likely argue consistently and not solve such arguments.  Fundamental differences and fights may lead to anger, frustration, and sadness.  These negative emotions would probably carry over to other facets of life such as friendships and family life.  When the closest bond that we are supposed to have is a weak one, the stress builds up to the point that the bond will eventually rupture; usually resulting in a divorce.  Then comes the separation of assets, where one person usually takes a larger financial hit than the other, followed by alimony and possibly child support.  And of course when children are involved things become much more complex.  Divorce can greatly affect children, and may require therapy and other types of counseling in order to correct the damage of a broken home.  Overall choosing the wrong partner creates a domino effect of negative situations and emotions, all of which usually leave their mark on the lives of an entire nuclear family.  We can always change careers, or go back to school, but the damage done by choosing the wrong life partner may never be fully corrected.  People should put far more emphasis on this decision than others in life because of the deep emotional consequences related to choosing the wrong life partner. 

What constitutes cheating?

I believe that the general population is split on what actually constitutes cheating between a couple.  Some say that sleeping with somebody else is cheating while others believe that simply wanting to be with someone else can be considered cheating.  There is quite a gray area between sleeping with someone and fantasizing about being with them and I wonder how soon into that gray area would one have to go in order to cheat.  For instance, let's say a girl with a boyfriend decides to go out to a bar, have some drinks and have a good time.  This good time would consist of dancing very closely with at least one guy in the style us young people call 'grinding'.  Essentially you're dry-humping on the dance floor and the consistent 'grinding' usually leads to later hookups.  Would you consider this type of dancing cheating?


I used to think that cheating meant a significant other kissing somebody else but I have since revised my definition.  I think that some significant flirting and close dancing could be enough to constitute cheating.  If you are with somebody in a monogamous relationship than what business do you have going out and grinding with people in a non-joking manner (meaning that a serious attraction lead to such dancing)?  Shouldn't your eyes be only for the person you are in love with?  I thought about it and I know that I would be quite angry if I had a girlfriend and I found out that she was out flirting and grinding with guys even if she did not kiss any one else.  When in a relationship it's important to know what you consider cheating before the foundation of the relationship is laid.  Everyone has their own definition, but if your partner wants to be with someone else and acts on such desires with heavy flirting and some close dancing, isn't that just as bad as carrying out the act of kissing and/or sleeping with somebody else?