So Many Haters

I've recently noticed a disturbing trend with people in regards to reactions when someone mentions a goal, dream or aspiration.  Doesn't it seem like whenever you share a strong desire to do something that everyone you tell is a nay-sayer?  It's like everybody has to jump to tell you how challenging your new found feat is, or how competitive the field is, or just some negative aspect to you're new found passion.  I feel like I'm not making sense so here's a scenerio.  My friend Dev was telling me about her discussions with certain people about PhD programs in English.  She's very passionate about her desires to be an English professor and has worked very hard over the past couple of years to further herself along this path.  When she recently discussed her desire to complete a PhD she explained to me that she was often received with people telling her how difficult PhD programs are, both with the workload and just being accepted in the first place.  This frustrated Dev because first of all she knew these facts, and second of all she explained to me how it felt like these nay-sayers were saying either that she couldn't do it, or that getting into and completing a PhD program would be very difficult.  Instead of congratulating her and wishing her luck with her new endeavor these people were explaining their doubts and concerns.  To me it just seems like people are quick to shoot down your dreams and aspirations, and not so quick to lend words of support and encouragement.  It really bothers me how people are hard-wired that way.  It's like everyone just focuses on the negative aspects and not the positive happening that an individual is actually actively attempting to follow their dreams and do something extraordinary.  We need more encouragement in our lives and less nay-sayers.  I think it's important that we surround ourselves with those who will be more encouraging, and discard the opinions of those who may be more discouraging.  The sad reality is that we so often have to be our own support systems, because for a lack of a better word, there are so many haters out there. 

Why has this topic hit so close to me you may ask?  And does this sounds semi-familiar if you are an avid reader of my blog (possibly because I think I wrote a similar post in the winter months)?  Well I've recently thought about relocating to a far away place and I've have one nay-sayer very close to home.  No Kyle it's not you I'm writing about, although I know you'll be very sad if I leave and I'll also miss you greatly, but you've been supportive of my plans and I really appreciate it.  Someone else close to home has really been hating on the idea of my relocation; explaining all of the hardships, challenges, and obstacles that would go along with it.  Trust me, I get it.  A whole new place and a whole new way of life, but in the end it's still a society with human beings.  It just bothers me that people aren't always happy and encouraging when I express a desire to do something.  Not that I need such encouragement, but it hurts when I'm attempting to take on a challenge and somebody close to me keeps telling me how difficult it's going to be.  I get it, it'll be really hard, and I still want to do it.  But honestly now that I'm writing this post and thinking about this issue, maybe that's what I need.  Maybe I need  a few haters (although there's more than a few) in my life to make me wonder how bad I really want something.  I mean there will always be doubters and haters, but maybe they actually serve a constructive purpose.  They make us think twice about challenges, and how bad we really want to accomplish difficult feats.  I still don't like it, but maybe doubt and discouragement (if that's even a word) are necessary when us dreamers attempt to start a revolution or make a significant change within our lives.  In any case, I want you as the reader, to think about a time when you expressed a dream, a hope, or desire to others and attempt to recall how it was received.  Think about the initial questions and comments:  'Oh that's a really competitive field...You know as a (insert profession here) you'll have to work really hard...That's going to be a big change, are you sure you're up for it?'  I think more likely then not the negativity comes first and I just wonder why the negativity has to come first.  After writing this post I'm starting to think it's necessary in order to test individuals on their desire to fulfill their dreams and goals, but I still just want to yell 'shut the (expletive) up!' every time I hear someone doubting me.