Greener Pastures

In response to a request from one of my readers' I am now writing about a topic that I discussed last night amongst friends.  Sometimes when we have been single for some time we begin to revert back to past relationships.  The loneliness builds to the point where we think that maybe things weren't as bad as they seemed, and that with some work following a reconciliation, we may be able to work things out with an ex-partner.  I am here to tell you that 9 times out of 10 it is a very bad idea.  Chances are if you ended things with an ex there was a good reason (or reasons) and that things really weren't meant to be.  Sure I've seen a few examples of couples who following a break up and reconciliation grew stronger and are happily together today (one of my cousins and my good friend KG).  I'm not saying never try to work it out with an ex, all I'm saying is there's a good chance that it's not going to work out and to realize that things may never go back to the way they were.

If you find yourself in this position of still having feelings for an ex-partner, I'd say go for it.  Meet up with them see how they're doing, and see if they feel the same way about you.  If you both want to reconcile and work on the problems that drove you apart than I say it's worth a shot.  Know that if it is to work you must forgive all that happened in the past and start fresh.  Don't focus on things that happened when you were apart, but instead attempt to build a new foundation, if things work out well and you two choose to move forward. Beware though not to build up the initial interaction in your head.  For all you know your ex could have moved on to somebody new or may not share your feelings.  It's best to go into situations like this (the initial meeting with an ex) with zero expectations, knowing that no matter what happens you'll emerge unscathed.  I believe that it's very difficult to get back together with an ex and make it work for the long term, but I've seen a couple examples in my life of a reunion successfully working.  It can be done but know that more often than not you are better off forgetting about your ex and moving on to greener pastures, and new experiences with new people.