Today I wasn't as productive as I would have hoped. I slept in a little late, watched some TV, and then went to get my car's oil changed. I also worked out so I guess I did at least two productive things today and being that my goal is to always do at least one I guess I'm doing alright for today. I also intend on organizing all of my loose papers from class into binder so that I won't have to continue lugging all of my graded assignments in my backpack. The folders are already ripping from all of the papers I have jammed in them so I figure I may as well leave the papers that I don't need for class at home.
Besides my normal daily activities today didn't start on the greatest of notes. I was woken up at 7:20 am by my sister, letting me know that a close family friend had passed away last night. She was very upset and made sure to keep me updated on the funeral arrangements for next week. It's always difficult to lose those close to us, especially when it's so sudden and unexpected. I saw this person only a couple of weeks ago and never imagined that his time on this earth would end anytime soon. Days like today really make you appreciate everything you have, and allow you to cherish every day because you never know when it could be your last.
I always feel weird when I hear of the passing of somebody that I know. I don't know why but I don't cry, or get angry, or shut myself off. Usually I think about it for a little bit, reflect, try to remember that person at their best and then carry on with my day. Call me heartless, or soulless but trust me it weirds me out too, how so often death doesn't phase me. Maybe I'm just internally denying it, like it can't be true, or maybe it's just that I don't easily attach myself to people. I don't know what it is but I must say I feel horrible when everyone in the room is sad and crying and I sit there doing ok, almost indifferent to the events taking place. It's not that I don't miss the people who I've lost, and I feel horrible for their immediate families and friends, it just seems like I tend to get over things quicker than others. And then I begin to wonder further, do I ever accept the deaths of people I know, truly taking them in and experiencing them? Who knows, I guess that's just one more weird thing about me, but the real tragedy of the day is that last night the world lost a good person who will be missed dearly by his friends and family.
Dude, I was reading this on my phone and I had to get to a computer just to comment about this. I think that everyone thinks that their way of dealing with death is weird. You know me, I've experienced death pretty close to me from when I was young, and I still question whether I deal with death in a good way (probably not). The point is, no matter who you are, everyone questions their ability to deal with death. Moreover, there's probably not a good way or a right way to deal with it. Face it, losing people around us sucks. I think you deal with death just fine. But seriously Yon, if I were you, I would be extremely thankful that you can deal with death the way you do. I think that the really important thing is that you do remember them at their best, like you said, and then you move on. I think that's what any person that passes would want. Do you really think that people that die are pissed because you don't cry and mourn and go nuts because they're dead? Probably not, I'd guess. I wouldn't read into it, just be thankful that you were created differently than everyone else in your way to deal with things.
ReplyDeleteThanks man, I really appreciate the kind words. Makes me feel way better about the way that I deal with death.
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