Put Yourself out There

So I was having a conversation with a female acquaintance tonight and we touched upon the topic of moving on after being hurt by a past relationship.  She was telling me how she was not eager to jump into dating or a relationship because she had been hurt by her past two partners, and that she was not eager to start anything new .  It's a shame because she's quite pretty and attracts a great number of suitors, but I think that she represents a lot of people who may be reluctant to start re-enter the dating scene in fear of being hurt.  Understandable because heartbreak is one of the worst pains we experience, along with losing a loved one.  Nearly every adult has had their heart broken at one point or another-guys don't try to be tough you know it hurt-and what can you say, it sucks.  Sure you never want to experience that kind of pain again, and the easiest way to do that is just to shut yourself off from relationships.  The problem with that approach is that as you shut out the negative possibilities you also close yourself off from the positive outcomes of a healthy and happy relationship.

Sure it takes time to get over heartbreak, sometimes months and even years, but eventually you've got to get back on the horse and get yourself out there.  If you find yourself in the position where you've been hurt and are afraid of it happening again than take a few things into consideration.  First of all, you survived; you're here and alive and most probably doing fine.  Because you survived, you know what to expect and how it bad it feels, and you know that you never want to feel that way again.  That alone makes you stronger for the next time that someone may come along and break your heat.  Having already experienced such pain and the recovery, the next time should hurt a lot less.  You also can reflect on the failed relationship and examine the reasons why it failed.  Such knowledge would then allow you to move forward with a better idea of what you want from a partner and from a relationship. 

Let's be honest, loneliness stinks.  Who enjoys staying in on a Friday or Saturday night while everyone else is doing something with their partners? Not me and probably not you too.  If it's been a while since you've dated anyone and you're still feeling guarded just think about all of the possible fun that you're missing out on.  Staying home and avoiding any type of dating or relationship isn't going to get you anywhere.  Don't be afraid of getting hurt, instead go into any dating situation telling yourself that nobody is ever going to hurt you like your ex did.  Your feelings are completely in your control, and somebody can only hurt you if you let them.  In life you've got to be able to move on from the hardest things like heartbreak.  Get back out there and control your own feelings; knowing that once you've hit rock bottom you'll never go back, that way you'll always come out on top.